Lonely Poem, by Cole, at My poetic side

Aware of every moment
aware of every breath
waking every day
just to see the end
wanting something more
wanting to escape
lying to myself
believing its okay
hiding from my family
hiding from my friends
it's oh so lonely
living in your head
there's nowhere to go
there's nowhere for me
in a sky full of stars
it feels so empty

Author: Cole ( Offline)
Published: April 1st, 2017 19:32
Comment from author about the poem: To start off, I am a junior in High school and my parents recently discovered that I have been smoking Marijuana. My parents are extremely conservative, and to a point, so am I. Although I consider myself to be Libertarian. I am a huge believer that you should always stand up for what you believe in, even if it's the unpopular opinion or in this case, against the law. Laws are not some sacred text, and laws are not always just. Marijuana is not legal where I live, but it is decriminalized. I work in a garage most days after school and it's a very rewarding job. But it's very labor intensive and after work my body aches. I smoke at night to relieve the pain and to help me sleep. But of course, they are under the misconception that pot makes people lazy, stupid, and unmotivated. I am a very driven person, I have had a job since I was 15 years old and have dedicated 7 years to playing saxophone. I plan on joining the Navy after I graduate, of course stopping my habit against the threat of dishonorable discharge. I just wish my parents would understand. In fact, I was very smart about it, not getting caught until my school's (unconstitutional) random drug test. Anyway, i'm not looking for someone to tell me whether I was right or wrong. This poem is about how disconnected I have always felt to my family. Although I wrote this in past tense, I am awaiting my drug test results. They have never supported me. Never went to any of my concerts. Never told me they were proud of me. They were never happy, and I was never good enough. That's how it's always been. I think another reason that I started smoking was that it was a temporary escape to how lonely I felt. The one thing they've ever taught me is the kind of parent that I don't want to be.
Category: Reflection
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