It pains me much at last to see
Where there is mediocrity
That all the other men you know have wings that I will never grow
Have hearts of purest beaten gold
When all I have is tired and old
Have twinkles where I wrinkle now
And know how that I know not how.
I know at last the end you chose;
Their lazy hunger for your pose
And love is what you now suppose
Happens when you lose your clothes
And so this tired old man you knew
Who sacrificed so much for you
Will wend his way into the west
And lay his love down there to rest
And never think of you again;
A thing of dross for golden men
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Author:
Jabberwocky (
Offline) - Published: April 7th, 2017 03:25
- Comment from author about the poem: I added the 4 rhyming lines in the middle after posting. I felt it needed more.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 123
Offline)
Comments4
Very well written, and sad a bit...Don't feel that way because one person hurt you...Best of luck to you
Thanks. I've changed it as I had intended it to be more ambiguous than it was.
Well written and expressed Great write
Thank Tony. I do appreciate your encouragement.
Welcome
good write albeit sad I agree with Pharaoh there are other fish in the sea so to speak! ww
I have nets I can cast when the time feels right
It's what she's done to herself that I feel bite.
Great poem, as always. I love the last 4 lines of the first verse, were these the ones you added last? If so, great call.
I added
"I know at last...
.... Lose your clothes.
Not sure if those are the lines you mean.
Originally the second line was
"That I am a mediocrity" but I felt it cancelled out the ambiguity I wanted though it is in some ways more direct and powerful .
Thanks for your encouragement, appreciated as always.
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