The Sun Is Shining Behind Me

I find myself more frequently roaming the 12 th floor

Looking down thinking it would be a quick ending 

I pace from the elevator to the back stairs
Then back trying to convince myself
But something always stops me
Won't let me get to that point on the edge where I need to be

It's not my kid
Cause I think she forgot me
Overhear her voice once every 4 months
When she calls to tell her mom she's broke
My wife wouldn't be what's keeping me
Only time she ain't yelling is once every 4 months
Then she screams that her daughter is broke
Went from the man of the house to the man who's hated in the house
But still the man who better pay for the house
One small room with kitchen piviges is costing me 200grand
Shake my head as I close the door

It's the perfect day
Cloudy and dark
Lite mist falls as the sun shines behind it all
When I turned 50 I wanted to live another 60 years
Today I turned 56 and I wonder how I made it this far
Well being no one said it I will
Happy birthday to me
And being nobody else cared
Im going to give myself a gift
The gift to fly to my death
3 steps from it
2 steps till the jump
When I hear what's her name yell for me
It's always something that keeps stopping me

3 more times she yells before I get back down
She's standing outside the door asking where had I been
Before an answer she said follow me
I seen it was dark inside and just knew she was sitting me up
Went to turn when the lights came on
And people stood up
Everyone shouting happy birthday
Happy birthday to me they meant
Yes I was surprised at my surprise party
It was everyone who I had thought forgot me
My daughter was the loudest and the only one besides me who was crying

It was a special night that left me wondering
What if I would've jumped
But also a night that I figured out what had been keeping me back
.......,
It was "the railing"
It's to high for me to jump over