Twenty Years to Destroy an Existence Poem, by Carl Halling, at My poetic side

How I try to count my blessings,

They do little to ease my saudade,

Look to the past

For some consolation,

But the past remains resistant,

O woe, where is hope?

I feel so old, and so alone…

Twenty years to destroy an existence,

Is all it took

To steal my contentment,

Look to the past for a glimmer of peace,

To the past for a little release.

O woe, where is hope?

I feel so old, and so alone…

On one level, I feel so blessed,

Cleave to life

With all my strength,

There's so much to be thankful about,

‘Til I sink back into deepest night,

O woe, where is hope?

I feel so old, and so alone…

Author: Carl Halling ( Offline)
Published: April 10th, 2017 13:22
Comment from author about the poem: 'Twenty Years to Destroy an Existence' was recently created as a song during one of my sporadic ‘glass half full’ periods of abyssal sorrow which come suddenly and depart with equal suddenness, rarely lasting for more than a week or two. On occasion, they might last longer when one such period gives way to another; but they are rare, if intense, occurring approximately three times a year, and centring largely on what I perceive to be past mistakes centring on the sentimental and/or professional spheres of my existence. I’ve been prone to them since about 2014, no longer, and while I consider myself to be a sufferer from depression of a low-grade, long-term variety, for the most part I operate within my condition with a degree, paradoxical as this might seem, of content. Thence, it is my belief that it is possible to be mildly depressed, without the existence of melancholy, even on a long-term basis, and to love and enjoy life, albeit within the sequestered existence depression tends to demand of sufferers.
Category: Sad
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