Trying to Reach You

Can you hear me?

The more I call out your name, the further you go
Into an immense abyss of darkness
Of which I am drawn
By a force stronger than lust or anger
To visit the cold fragments of my past
The decayed bones of a loved one,
A blood stained pillow from
When I tried to release my being,
to find you
You, where the traces of
My embittered heart try to make sense
Of the empty words you said before you ploughed my body
With your unwanted filth
Then left me on the floor to be eaten by the earth
Do you feel me? 
I'm here waiting on you to hold me,
Love me,
Only cover my mouth with your hand until I crave the air no more,
Beat me until I am limp
Then leave,
Let me try to find you
To pass among the lonely trees and feel the stones destroy my feet
Before I jump into the dark Unknown
Further and further
Until
My hopes and ambitions vanished,
Any pain an irrelevance
The love I thought we had an infection,
Smother me, crush me
Into oblivion
Then and only then
Will we be together.