Below Zero

To stop these hazel windows to my soul from dripping liquid from a sacred oasis, I pause...

For a brief moment in time that I think may only be my illusion

Just for this one moment in time, I must analyze the control factor within my own being for once

I am in control of my own destiny, which has been patient enough to wait around for me, miraculously

Then again,  why wouldn't it give me at least that much respect?

It is MINE, after all..

The fall of my success happened a long time ago, now

I had never expected it to be 2014 before I even have had the chance to stand as my own witness in this silly little trial of mine

Somehow, now, I have managed to acquire two

The first of which, of course, my long-awaited reward

The second little fucker is more like a wad of chewing gum or chunk of dog shit stuck in the cleats on the bottom of my bright red vintage shoe

As if I really had nothing more constructive to do last December 11th besides getting drugged then dragged across the icy asphalt

These crazy happenings in my life are showing up now in patterns

Or, let me correct myself, at least it seemed so last year

The first half of it was so calming and bittersweet, the second left my livelihood chased down by a cloud of the collective mortals senseless fear

A cloud that caught up to me, finally, after becoming forgotten entirely

I should have been expecting a hell of a lot more than I was, my darlings, that is for damned sure!

However, hindsight is twenty fucking twenty

There is not shit that I can do about it now, nor would I even if ever there was

The buzz about my secret life was already all over the damned Internet

My name was all over like tinsel across the entire town

I had never bothered to put up a Christmas tree, much less had I gone out shopping for an armoured night gown

Of course, I found out later that the bitch who I really thought had become my true friend this time around was the very same bitch that had my case on BLAST in the first place

She is, clearly,  lower than a mere disgrace

It came as quite a surprise to me that the bitch  who could not even swing the bill for an Internet Service Provider still somehow managed to become the whistles' blow

I still for the life of me cannot see how Pinnochio's pointed  beak found the time to grow so goddamned long

Had I happened to have snapped back then how wrong the whole thing was about to become, I would have just snapped the whore's scrawny little neck in two right away

Put her out of her decade of miserable decadence in regard to the likes of me

The "Traitor" in my poem that she never read or heard that she assumed to be her was actually me all along

I truly do not believe that it was meant for her eyes to have read for it took her over-dosing me with some poison that they give to nim-nims  to show me her true colors

I guess I was not seeing them as she had expected me to

She thought that she was the peacock in this bitch, when everyone else can see clearly that she is not even fit to be one of my hens

She had single-handedly co-created a crazy scenario somewhere inside that ignorant vault that she calls her head

I ended up stripped down and thrown naked out in the freezing December haze

Left for dead

Rescued by a Demi-God

Hospitalized

Jailed, AGAIN

You should see my eleven-page long hospital bill

Which reminds me, why would that faggot call me out of the blue just a night or two ago?

My memories were all frozen in the past when I was thrown to the wolves into that slithering space below zero

I am alive

I am amazing

I am immortal

I am me

Who cares where the fuck she ended up, as long as she's still slithering

Somewhere in  the space below zero.....

2/2/2014