What broke your broken heart?
(Can you let this loser live?)
My half of your passion-bed
lies empty, night and day…
Did seldom reaching out for you
cause your heart to fray?
Where rapture once induced a scream
depression does the same…
Did frequencies crack your heart
when you cried out my name?
What once were love’s hot-chocolate nights
are now my ice cold beers…
Did the frost upon my lover’s heart
fracture your heart’s veneer?
Where fervent rhymes by me were born
is now an arid seed…
Did my apathy dry out your heart
and tensions make it bleed.
Where devotion once profusely grew
only selfish weeds now bloom…
Did your distrust, incite the pouring rain
that drowned your heart in gloom.
Where beauty aimed her marksman eye
is now my heart full of holes…
Did losing my picture of you
trigger the shot, that killed my soul.
I was never told you could be that shallow.
-
Author:
MendedFences27 (
Offline) - Published: April 16th, 2017 08:30
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 49
Offline)
Comments1
Hey, I have absolutely no idea why any of the seventeen visiting viewers prior to my own perusal left anything of themselves behind, here on this well filled page...
I can only assume that some of them at least, either had poor taste, or were in a rush...
I know it happens and it never ceases to annoy me that folk often just cant be bothered..
I am usually quite a calm and mild mannered kinda guy but passing through without so much as an acknowledgment sucks....
Anyway .. at least ya know I have been sniffing around... I enjoyed 'What Broke Your Broken Heart' which had a good storyline behind it... it actually reminded me a little bit of both Dory Previn & Janis Ian .. that is a compliment by the way.. My only reservation was the format... I reckon these fine words may have been more aesthetically appealing had they been aligned to the left rather than centrally... Indeed I took the liberty of copying and re-formatting just to check my theory.. and yep.. I think I might just be right.... Why not see what you think....
All Good Things,
Neville
My problem with this one is that I don't like the questions or the answers. Moving it to a left margin alone won't save it. I'm thinking I might try a change of the perspective and maybe not ask questions, but rather make statements. Is it worth the effort? I believe I was listening to music when I wrote this, perhaps the BeeGees? Thanks for stopping by and saying something. It may just motivate me.
To your other point, I read lots of poems here, but only respond to those I like. The rest are either not of my interest or just so bad it would take a total re-write to save them.There is some great stuff here, so good in fact, it is hard to say anything other than Wow and Fav. I also despise the two or three word comments that say nothing. Oh well I could go on all day...
Again, thanks for your input, always most helpful. - Phil A.
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