SadInterior

My 1st Suicide Attempt.


Notice of absence from SadInterior

I, Hannah. Am not here today to rhyme, I am here to tell you a long story short about my first suicide attempt.
3-4-16 will be a day, I will never forget.

 

 

It was sunny, bright and all the kids were out playing, all of them besides me.

I stayed in my room, staring out the window, the bright sun beating down on my pale face.

I looked at that damn phone, shit had been going on for at least 2 months.

Ugly, whore, hoe, trash, bitch, skank, cunt, dumbass, weirdo, freak, fat, worthless, useless. Imagine, walking into your school

bathroom and seeing your name written on the mirror surrounded by hundreds of insults from hundreds of students.

I did. Imagine openeing your locker and seeing condoms everywhere planted by the one person who knew your combo. You "best friend"

I did. Imagine walking into the fucking school and no one talks to you, if they did it was making fun of you. Imagine having thousands of eyes staring at you, laughing, pointing, boys walking behind you groping your ass. Girls tripping you, pushing you, throwing gum wrappers, anything they had at you. I did.

I was done with all of it, done being alone, I felt like a ghost in the wind to everyone. I was done with being hated, of being traumatized.

So. Here's what I did. I messaged my "friend" (aka the girl who put the condoms in my locker) told her I'm sorry and that I'm done. She messaged back more than 10 times but I was already in the bathroom. I ran the water, I looked at myself in the mirror, cried, punched it even. I grabbed my razor blade and I sat in that tub. I looked at my wrists for a long time, but decided I didn't want to slit my wrists, so instead I grabbed my Prozac and Ridiline out of the cabinet.

Poured the pills into my hand and down the hatch they went. Now, sadly I didn't die. I wish I would of, I don't remember much after my eyes closed. It was all of a blur. but, I remember waking up in the hospital seeing my mom, my dad, my aunt all surrounding me.

I looked up, then down, then all around. I let out 3 words to everyone in the room. "Did it work?"

 

 

 

I'm sorry, if this bothered anyone. My name is originally not "Hannah" but becuase of everything that happened with my real name, I'm changing my name to Hannah. I'm not telling anyone my real name unless we for some reason become close friends. Have a good day and I hope you enjoyed this.

Comments3

  • Tony36

    Well written and expressed great write.

  • Brycycle

    I'm sorry for everything that has happened to you. I would love to get to know you, please message me. Since i don't know how to message you : P

  • SorrowfullyHappy

    i learned long ago that world can be cruel the only thing we can do is make the best of what life gives us for now i am happy but i also know i will fall again back into that pit of dis pare

    • SadInterior

      And I'll be there for you when you do

      • SorrowfullyHappy

        and i got the 13 reasons quote



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