Drowning interlude

Depression

I have been drowning for years,

Sometimes i managed to convince myself that I was swimming through this ocean called life, but in reality, I have been drowning for years.

How does one begin to drown? I think its when you start to lose hope in love, and in those around you. Thats when you start to drown.

My hope was lost when i was left without love or protection from the one they said was supposed to love and protect you the most, I drowned instantly.

I struggled to stay afloat, clinging on to life's pool toys in the form of flakey friendships, playful boyfriends and even disillusion. But I am still drowning.

Even now, where I can see the respite island, I drown further, incapable of swimming anymore.

Drowning is a slow and painful process. At first you fight against it, almost in denial to the fact that you are drowning. So you ignore the weights at your ankles and try to swim anyways. THEN you get tired, as the waves of life hit you and the weights get heavier, and behold, you are drowning. And you are sinking to the bottom, a spectator of life and its inhabitants. Watching other people swim, watching other people drown.

You are drowning, and waiting to reach the bottom.