Why I Retreat Into Myself

I go on adventures, 
retreat into my mind. 

My head is the safest
and the most dangerous 
place I can ever hope to go. 

In my mind, 
i fight monsters, 
I battle demons and save angels. 

In my mind, 
I swim across oceans despite my weariness
and travel through the valley of death. 
I explore caverns and solve mysteries. 

In my mind, 
i build worlds, 
and I build people. 
I revel in the complexity of the human pysche. 
I dissect motivations and analyze dreams.

In my mind, I'm safe from physical harm
but I still get the adrenaline rush from danger. 

Yet people ask me why
I retreat into myself. 
Usually, I deflect. 
Until just recently, I had no idea it was more complex. 
And then it struck me. 

Maybe I'm just sick of the real world. 
Maybe I'm just sick of all the tiresome people, 
all their neediness and distractions,
all their ridiculous socialities and rituals. 
Maybe I'm just sick of responsibilities, 
of expectations and of criticisms. 
Maybe I'm just sick of huamns. 
Yes, I'm sick of their need to always be right, 
to demean those who have opposing opinions. 
I'm sick of their need to blame people for things, 
sick of their goddamn inhumanity. 
I'm sick of their social constructs
and their meaningless ideas. 
I'm sick of their prejudices, 
of their impulsive conclusions. 
I'm sick of their goddamn stupidity. 
And people wonder why I retreat into myself. 

I retreat into myself
because my mind is the greatest adventure, 
because I can control what happens. 
I don't have to watch people hurt each other. 
I don't have to watch the inhumanity, 
the disgusting excuses for cruelty. 
I don't have to listen to subtle insults. 
No, in my mind, it's safe. 
Not always peaceful, but safe. 
In my mind, I'm free. 

Maybe other people are okay with being caged, 
but in my heart, I'm a bird. 
I'm meant to fly, 
meant to be free. 
I'm not mean to be caged, 
to be told what to do, 
to be controlled. 
I'm meant to be free. 
And my mind is the only place
that I can find the freedom I so desire. 
Can you really blame me for that?