If I'm not available it either means that I am indisposed conjuring up new works poetry or than I've taken a brief momentary break in order to regroup myself.
[1st STANZA:]
As I was reading the paper today on the second to last page a sad story was written - briefly. The article was about a lonely veteran who took his own life because he lost faith in humanity and then himself. Strangely enough, he was about my age and he too was a Marine. Also, he left behind no survivors it was just him to be very with no one to attend his funeral, just as it would be for me if I was to pass how very peculiar I thought. And there wouldn't be a service held for him just a crematorium with an audience of none, how very disheartening it is to read something so personally painfully similar and eerily familiar...
[CHORUS:]
Why does it always come down to hurting so much that one is left to decide on whether to make a call on having no life at all or daring to take another breath and trying to continue living? And what could ever make a person consider giving up and giving into the other side of the darkness? Is it when one gets to a point when they are overly exhausted, and then begin to feel emptied, worthless, meaningless, and hopeless? Is it at that crucial moment they begin to contemplate their existence? When will a person actually take off their rose-colored glasses and stop trying to dilute the reality that actually is instead of only wanting to see the reality they want to? Well, is it going to be in the aftermath of a critical pivotal moment - Or will it be beforehand that will prevent one from making that unnecessary judgment call -
[2nd STANZA:]
I sat down and begin pondering; What happened to make him give up so easily? Who didn't give a damn enough to see the sign before it's too late? Did he not have enough love in his life to get him through another day? Did society willfully choose to ostracize a man who served this country if so why did they? Wasn't there anyone who recognized the agonizing anguish that he was battling with inside? And at what point did humanity just utterly fail him for him to decisively vote that giving up was easier than living? Lastly, I am wondering who in the world will truly care about a man who served his country taking his own life only because everyone failed him. And will it ever truly make a difference or change in anybody's views, opinions or standpoints in regards to the depression veterans undergo after coming home, or will it just be another short-lived story that no one seems to give a damn about...
[REPEAT CHORUS:]
[3rd STANZA:]
I'm not trying to blame anyone person because of their indiscretions or transgressions or their lack of raw humanity for another human being, especially against one who is served this country. No, I'm not whatsoever but I thought hindsight was actually 20/20 but it looks like the whole world is blind when it comes to helping somebody out that is in need by offering compassionate understanding companionship for a person who looks as though they are in pain and seems as though they are silently struggling alone. Especially a veteran after coming back home from deployment. And maybe a person or a veteran is just wanting to try to find a place where they might fit in without having to feel more alone than they do when they're by themselves. Is that so hard to ask or even consider doing if they were a reasonably decent human being?
[REPEAT CHORUS:]
[4th STANZA:]
Taking one more glance at the article and the obituaries I was overcome with heart-wrenching horrifying shock as I dropped to my knees, it suddenly dawned on me that that was not just any ordinary article about any particular Marine Veteran taking his own life, it was about me - Was this a nightmare that I was in? Or was it a self-fulfilling prophecy that was to be a forewarning? As I looked all around me I noticed I was in the morgue, I noticed where my body laying and thought I'd take a look what my future might be if something didn't change inside of me soon. As I peered over my body, it was strange to see the same old a blank cold expression was still etched upon my face just as it was when I was still breathing. It was also odd to see my lifeless corpse there before me almost as though it was the same reflection that I've seen a thousand times before in the mirror but this time there wasn't any life truly left in me anymore. As I leaned over a little closer, suddenly I was caught off guard as my own icy hand reached up and grabbed my throat and open its eyes peering into mine and ghastly gurgling these forebodingly words " Doomed you are, this you know, yes? Only if you choose to fail yourself, need you to live for what you have and not what is thought to be ideal for everyone - need to understand that taking your life is pale in comparison to barely living at all cause there are much worse things than dying…” Suddenly I awoke, startled and appalled by what it was that I had dreamed. Although it wasn’t without getting and having a new profound outlook and lease on life. Because I never ever want to get to a critical pivotal moment where I’d contemplate personally taking myself out of this world before it's my time to shed my mortal coils...
[FINALE:]
Never let anyone get to a critical pivotal moment in their life where they might contemplate an irreversible regrettable decision, whether they are friends family or just a stranger on the street. Just because we don't see someone's pain on the outside doesn't mean they aren't struggling on the inside with it. Yeah, there are some of us that are stronger in our weakest moments not because of anything too noteworthy only because we have learned to defy the meaning of weakness. But do not let that fool you because some people even when they are the strongest in their weakest moments are in fact in need more so of needing somebody to have their six and pick them up. Just try and remember to open up one’s mind to the possibility that there are people out there who are just looking be part of something and not feel so alone. Rather than just seeking attention because they are a selfish, self-absorbed egocentric asshole. I know it's hard to understand people's pain but it is not someone's job to try and understand it, instead it is simply another person's job to just comfort and offer companionship in that person's time of dire straits, just so they never get to that critical pivotal moment where they give up and give in and begin to contemplate on whether or not to continue living life anymore. We as a whole have the ability to change a critical pivotal moment in someone's life if we have the heart to do so. Now begs the question; "Is there anyone out there who actually does have such a truly compassionate heart that is willing to help someone in their critical pivotal moments?
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Author:
Esoteric Ghostwriter (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: May 4th, 2017 15:40
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem speaks volumes for itself about depression and suicide amongst veterans and people in society. So, please feel free to comment below any thoughts or opinions as you see fit or as deemed necessary...(BTW & FYI, this poem is not directly about myself and any sort of way whatsoever so please do not make comments regarding a concern!!)
- Category: Unclassified
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Comments1
My father served in WWII in the Pacific . He was seventeen when he went in and served four years . He never talk to me about anything in the war . Not the first word . His younger brother served in Korea and came back a mental wreck . He had PTSD s bad he could not stay in relationshis and often spentry months in VA Hospitals . His even younger brother fought in Vietnam and was exposed to agent orange and shortly after his return died of cancer but the VA refused to say agent orange was responsible . I had an aqua intense that was given LSD as a test dummy in the Army without their know ledge . That so disturbed him he went insane and committed sicide . My best high school friend was a Marine at seventeen and served in Vietnam and came home in a sealed casket not recommended to be opeed . So many tragedies . So little governmental appreciation .
My family has a long lineage and serving in this country and its Wars and conflicts. My great grandfather service a Rough Rider during War World 1 but never made it home. My grandfather's ToJo and Ruben were on overnight fire watch on the USS Arizona before the attacks on Pearl Harbor luckily they weren't there when the ship went down. My grandfather ToJo Japanese American Marine but it didn't matter and he was given an ultimatum either he personally was to round up all the Asian Americans and put them into internment camps and then go spy for the Americans the Japanese Imperial Army or be executed. He chose to do the latter of the options, he chose to round up his fellow Asian-Americans and put them into internment camps and then act as a spy The Americans to assist with the invasion and attack in the Pacific's. And Ruben would wind up being in one of the first divisions of Marine Raiders. My father is part Japanese and he was forcefully conceived in Japan by another Marine officer it was my grandfathers who took action and decided to bring my dad back home to the states after the war and adopt him. Because my grandfather Ruben was killed in the line of duty he betrothed my grandmother Viola unto my other grandfather ToJo. After World War II my grandfather ToJo had been blinded in the Battle of Hacksaw Ridge, so he came home forevermore changed as well. My dad enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and wound up deployed during the Vietnam conflict. Even after the Vietnam conflict and did he get in you to be a marine and not a father my grandparents raised me but eventually I to join the United States Marine Corps and my wife joined US Army and our 3 kids joined the Marine Corps sadly my wife and our three kids never made it home. For this is part of the reason why I wrote this poem along with the fact that nobody seems to be aware of the conditions or state of mind a veteran is in when they come home and how they feel truly. Especially the veterans who come home to the people to the ones they love and left to go fight for and only to find out they have abandoned them and forsaken them and completely misunderstand them and treat them as though they are disease and cast them out. Sadly when a person loses faith in humanity they lose faith in themselves eventually and then gradually but inevitably they contemplate I'm weather not to live anymore....
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