A collection of poems I've written in the last month.

"Baby love."

"Baby love, please don't go.
I love you so,
I love everything about us.
I'm addicted to you like nicotine,
But your worst than nicotine.
You keep me sane,
Happy,
You make me feel loved.
You make me want to stay,
And never leave.
You make my pain,
And misery go away.
I love you,
Babylove don't go."

-Ky Musselman.

 

"I'm tired."

"I'm tired of being suicidal.

I'm tired of being so depressed,

I'm tired of cutting.

I'm tired of burning myself,

I'm tired of smoking.

I'm tired of the pills,

 

And multiple suicide attempts.

I'm tired of me having to get high on pills, to make me feel some what happy.

I'm tired of the scars.

I'm tired of wearing this mask,

That doesn't show how broken I am.

But goddamn,

I'm so fucking broken.

I'm tired of being asked if I'm suicidal, everyday.

I'm tired of not being my old self when I was younger.

But this is me,

And its been for years.

I've just kinda learned to accept it.

And that's okay.

Because all of the pain has done this to me.

And deep down inside,

I'm still that same little girl who wasn't broken.

But,

Broken hearts don't match with happy hearts.

Because the man I called "dad",

Shattered my heart before anyone else could.

I've accepted everything that made me, ME."

 

"To the first girl who broke me."

To the first girl who broke me,

you were my first love,

I never said anything,

But I fell utterly in love,

Watching you get your heart broken for the first time,

To having you laugh at my stupidity,

To have you hug me,

And kiss my cheek,

I fell in love.

To the first girl who broke me,

Your eyes,

As clear as the blue ocean,

Your hair,

How beautiful it was,

So ginger,

And long.

To the first girl who broke me,

You were the most beautiful girl in the world,

I tore myself apart trying to have you love me,

You used me,

Bullied me,

Thought I was naïve,

I shredded my heart to make sure you would be happy.

But oh fuck,

I never thought that you'd stop being friends with me.

I was so broken,

I couldn't get over you.

But maybe it was a wake up call,

To get my shit together,

To understand we weren't going to last forever as friends,

That I'd never get the girl of my dreams.

I still think of you to this day,

I deleted all of our pictures,

I couldn't stop crying.

I couldn't help but listen to our favorite songs while doing it.

But you never loved me like how I loved you,

And you never will."

 

"She"

She's grace,
She's beauty,
She's all over the place.
But she's mine,
She's perfect,
Just the way she is.
And I love her." 

 

"Happiness"

"Happiness is something you have to find in yourself.
It's that feeling you get,
When you see your significant other for the first time in a long time.
It's the feeling when you feel when your surrounded by people you love.
It's the feeling,
The feeling that everyone should have,
Most do,
Some don't.
And I'm one of those people,
Who has her happy days,
And sad days.
But I'm me,
And everyone feels the same way."

 

"Reasons why I want to be an educator"

  "Reasons why I want to be an educator,

From the time I could even remember,

I've been in school.

I've always admired teachers,

They take so much pride in what they teach.

I've been in school since the age of three,

Teachers,

They see the best in every kid.

No matter age,

Weight,

And how smart they are.

They see the best, in anybody.

Reasons why I want to an educator,

  I had a teacher from the sixth to the eighth grade,

She was a special education teacher.

She went around and asked everyone,

What we wanted to be.

Most people said doctor or NFL player.

I was the odd one out and said

"I want to be an educator."

She asked why,

I replied with,

"Everyone admires someone. I admire educators because they take so much pride in what they do."

She was amazed at that response.

The next year she asked the same question.

I responded with the same answer,

Kids changed up their answers.

Reasons why I want to be an educator,

Eighth grade year,

She asked the same question.

When it finally came to me I said,

"I want to be an educator, because I want to be admired. I want to have kids look up to me. I want them to be able to tell me anything, I want kids to love school and teaching. I want them to have fun while learning,  because we don't have much of that. I want to be able to have kids love me as an educator. I want to love my job and love kids."

She told me,

"You are the true definition of an educator."

The last day of school,

She told me.

"You will be an amazing educator, Kylie. Best wishes in high school honey."

I'm now almost a sophomore in high school,

And I'm about to be student teaching,

for kindergartens.

And I know,

She would be so proud of me.

This is why I want to be an educator."

 

"I've been saved"

"I've been saved,
From myself,
And my thoughts.
I didn't know that one,
One single damn person.
Could save a broken little girl.
He lead my through the dark tunnel,
I call life.
And I thank him,
For everything he's done for me.
Thank you for being here for me,
Thank you for helping me through, my suicidal thoughts.
Thank you baby,
I love you Caden.
Thank you so much for saving me."