Just Me And My Mind

Does she hate me?
Am I bothering him
Am I annoying?
Should I go?
Maybe they will be happier
better
if I was gone
Does my presence bug them
Does he find me irritating
Do my parents even love me anymore?
Do my siblings?
What about my friend?
Does he find me annoying?
Am I an annoying
buzzing bug
Why bother finding friends
when ill just be forgotten
or abandoned
or ignored
Staying in my mind
is my guard
against the cruel
unforgiving world
My dog ignores me
My cat wants to escape from me
All my outlets abandon me
So I go
and find online outlets
MY outlets
Music, media, Netflix
I get those taken from me
I have nothing
I am nothing
Why do I bother
In the end ill end up sad and alone
I found something to make me special
And I get told its bad
I have to give it up
but it makes me something
a little better than trash
I wish I was better
New
Different
Normal
I wish people liked me
I'm tired of being friends with things
that aren't there
Stuffed bunnies and foxes
The only things I know won't judge me
I'm a whale
I'm so ugly
Look at my body
Its gross
My demons won't leave
Screaming and slurs come at me
From my demons
telling me I'm a whore
Slut
Bitch
When will this stop
Please stop hurting me
it's killing me
I'm invisible to everyone
Despised
And judged
Maybe Jordan was right about me
I am nothing
But his whore
His plaything
everyone treats me like I'm trash anyway
it's not worth it anymore