The feeling of depression

I'm screaming right now

and I can't breathe, this world is a sea, holding my breathe down.

my eyes are paining and the retina at the back of my eye is blinding me.

this struggle  is weighing on me so much, hurting me,punishing me.

eveyday is a challenge and in the next hour I will begin to cry again and maybe they'll begin to flow right now 

it happens more often now, I don't know why but I wish  I could stop ,it makes my heart rise like that feeling of being at the climax of a roller coaster,it's the same all the time.

we have to gain good stuff, you have to believe and achieve, but when you can't believe you feel your self shattering and when it comes to the time  where you have to pick up the pieces infront of people you put on your mask of happiness and behind this you begin to melt away like ice cream on a summers day.

continually the tears flow like thick rain drops on a thunderous day.

and when the skies turn to pitch black you feel as if your whole world has turned upside down and only you can relate to this horrific nature,

your heart begins to beat like African drums at a festival,and then you begin to cry again.