The Quiet Places

I find a good place in a broken home
A dancing flame in a mended stone
I find that we are all just quiet places

Craving noise from familiar faces
Searching for answers in our empty bodies
Asking the white wall in our empty minds
Whether or not we can fulfill a task
Mend our broken place and be okay
The answer will always be unclear

Even in the busiest streets locked away
in the minds that matured over not enough time
When we search for answers
Are we to go to the familiar faces?
Or fall back into these quiet places

These places in our minds of shaky towns
Built on a shaky ground
Constantly asking for stability
That I can’t ever find at the bottom of a pill bottle
I always find that the loudest noises in my mind will never make the walls move
Will never re-write my past
Etch my future so perfectly that I can hold it in the palm of my hand

Though i always stretch
In my attempt to become someone better
Call it pretentious
Call it holding the house together
Call it keep these streets from moving

My attempts always fail
I’ll always slip, trip, fall, die again
When will someone recognize that coming back to life is hard?
I can never tell if this is just an earthquake
Or if I’m the one still shaken
Under cover
Still afraid of my world falling apart around me even after the tragedy has passed

People call me smart
Call me mature
Independent
I try not to tell anyone that it’s just trauma
Not from the mistakes but from pain I never asked for

I scream at this white wall in my head
But I hear nothing
When will I realize that this wall won’t move?
I see the madness pass by me
Not knowing if I can’t hear it happen because I don’t care
Or if I’m trying to remember the face of the violence that confronts me
I named the violence "Earth"

Earth tends to push me into these quiet places
I never know if I’m trying to protect myself
Or dream up a place that I know I’ll be safe in
Because here wasn’t it

When reality was the gash in my skin
I learned to make a new one
When heartbreak knocked on this white wall
I learned to sew to patch it up though it remained empty
When my household cracked
I stitched it up using my bones
So at least it’d have to break 206 times again before it fell apart
Only to regenerate on it’s own

I realized we’re all just quiet places 

When I smiled at the crooked features of Earth’s obstacles
When he was only ever homebound
When she couldn't find the exit to her own insecurities
When the world filled to the brim with tears and people connected by nothing that has to do with blood let the tears fall
And we all found silence in that

We found a safe space that we believed only existed in ourselves
I found in you
And you found in me

Naturally, I will call this gravity
At the hands of defeat I will make sure to link myself to the broken places of you

Together we will break this white wall
We will build this limitless mindset into a quiet place and we’ll call it home.