Troubled Bored Mind Lacking Camaraderie...

[STANZA I:]
If today would be my last day here in this world with no time to say my goodbyes, which sort of has left me pondering two questionable quandaries, would my passing mattered anyone truly or would my passing be more of a blessing for those who despise me? Which has left me feeling so utterly numb and calloused, damn near to past the point of no return of desiring that I would just shed my mortal coils and get it over with! But as a bright sunrise occurs, I will not let this undesirable conundrum contradict heavily upon me as I go about throughout my day. Oh, how I wish there was someone who would reassure me every day with saying; 'For I am with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' . . .

[REFRAIN:]
It's right now here in these moments of feeling so lonely, lost, tormented and abandoned, I do so long to find somebody who understands the contradictions of this darkness as I do and still is able to keep a steadfast purpose of yearning to further a connection with me rather than let a temptation of uncertainty notion a thought to hastily forsake me. . .

- Oh, how I do need someone to say;
'For I am with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' while prying open the skylight to shine down light upon me whenever the vast skies seem overly cloudy -
- Oh, how I do wish someone to say;
'For I am with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' as they help lighten the load whenever the weight of this world is too unbearable to bear alone any further -
- And oh how I so desire for someone to say;
'For I am with you always, no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' while they keep with me during the worst of my darkest storms until it comes to a still chaotic calm -
- 'For I'd really like someone to be here always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' -

[STANZA II:]
But in spite of all the sad burdening thoughts, there is a flickering fleeting light of hope burning within me that helps me carry on. Often I left to wonder how in the hell did I ever wind up in such a misfortunate predicament. And strangely but refreshingly the remanence and echoes of my past relentlessly haunt me, without rhyme or reason or even cause and legality. I find myself constantly praying that my true love of my life walks back through my door any day now and every day. Telling me this was all some elaborate dreamscape and then she really wasn't gone ever in the first place. But then I realized that is utter bullshit and that is when I abruptly flip the script and begin cursing the names of both God and the Devil as well as the existence and the insignificant relevance of both of them. And it's right about now that so do wish that there was someone who could reassure in times like now by saying; 'For I am with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next'. . .

[REPEAT REFRAIN:]

[STANZA III:]
Is it disconcerting to admit that I am too dead and cold inside to give a damn about anyone or any particular thing anymore? While the days crawl by ever so slowly my self-affliction to which I inflicted upon myself unknowingly but knowingly gradually erodes and decays the last remaining pieces of my former self. There isn't any really need for human companionship from those who wish to patronize me and act innocently guilty about their betrayal and sanctimonious actions. Rather have time alone so I can figuratively toss stones of judgment and doubt at both of my creators. Also, I prefer to slip further into the void of nihility ever so steadily gradually instead of having to be shoved violently with great persistence into the abyss. If indeed I cared at all about anyone or anything it was a time long ago and not that far away. But too many people were constantly force feeding me heaping amounts of bullshit, empty promises, and misconstrued intentions. So I cut them for my life because they handed me the scissors in the first place, they're just lucky I didn't just maliciously bludgeon them to death with the scissors instead. It sure would be nice to have someone at times like this reassuring me by saying 'Don't worry buddy I shall be with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' . . .

[REPEAT REFRAIN:]

[STANZA IV:]
Sure the day will come eventually when I am to shed my mortal coils and leave this world, yeah I'm pretty damn sure of that. But until that day comes, I shall live out each day eagerly and willfully continue with struggling while I have a frown etched upon my face and a gleam of flickering hope in my eye. I keep telling myself over and over again ' don't blink at all' because I rather not lose focus on the next illusion of happiness that life supposedly has an abundance of. But if I do so happen to actually blink, I'm hoping that I didn't miss a chance to hit the addictive toxin of the drug-induced happiness that everyone seems to be partaking of. This disillusioned happiness drug was created by societies drug dealers, the conformist societal puppets, and the only price one has to pay to get a lifetime supply is one must give up their individuality and conform, heck, it's only a very harmless small price to pay, so why not though!? I know it's too much to ask or even want somebody here with me to reassure me on occasion by saying; ' you haven't any need to be worried pal cause I shall be with you always, from now until death takes my last breath no matter what comes or what uncertainties may arise in this life or the next' . . .

[REPEAT REFRAIN:]