My shack

My shack

I had been to places so dark I didn't think I'd come back
I was about to crack,
Everyone noticed the things I lacked,
Growing up my mind was an isolated shack,
In the middle of the woods no light just trees,
Id walk out of my shack and grieve with the bees,
When I was little I always prayed I'd be free,
Only I never found the key,
As life got worse I thought I was cursed,
How could it be that all these things would happen to me?
Overtime I began to feel at home in my shack,
I started to be blind to the things I lacked
I no longer cared about my past,
But at night my mind wondered how long I'd last,
At 14 my world got turned upside down,
I wasn't use to the side of the globe I found,
This climate was colder and the sun not as bright,
I didn't know till I was there that I'd need a flashlight,
The water was dirty and the trees not so pretty,
I was alone and afraid and saw no way to get out,
The noise in my head was getting to loud,
So one night I decided to silence the sound,
I went to treatment but it didn't fix me, seemed as tho nobody there had the tools we would need,
A few months later still stuck on the dark side of the globe,
I decided I'd forever be alone,
There was no way to escape,
I looked at my wrists and then made them gape,
I just couldn't move past this rape,
I had to find an exit sign to this horrid place in my mind,
I needed out,
I needed release,
I started to make my weight decrease,
I had a war with myself over the food on my plate,
I was terrified of gaining weight,
But then I realized it was only myself I would hate,
For making myself so sick and weak,
I decided to just let the thoughts leak,
Nothing was helping,
I was stuck in the dark,
When I tried to get help my fears would bark,
Then I met you and I saw a shine,
You sent shivers up my spine,
You learned quickly I was out of line,
And over time that shine grew into a glow,
The glow began to show me a road,
I gave you my heavy load,
I finally found the door out of the dark,
you thought it was over,
But what you didn't know was I would only grow colder,
Stuck back in my shack I was angry and mean,
I doubted your love, I put walls up that covered me like a sleeve,
But you saw my games and you started to shove,
You tugged on my heart and threw me like a dart,
Out of my shack and into the woods,
I knew there was a chance I could be good,
So you helped me make a path through the trees,
I started to say goodbye to the bees,
Although I'm still hiking out of the forest,
You help me each day to stay on the right course,
Some days my mind goes black,
I began to miss my shack,
I take a few steps back,
Then I see all the things I'd lack,
My shack isn't good or kind,
My shack sends me to bad places in my mind,
My shack was my shelter for so long,
And in order to leave it I had to be strong,
And although sometimes I feel alone,
I know my shack can no longer be home.