The Sickness

It's not my heart that doesn't care it's my head and the way I feel so scared, everyday I wake I feel like no one is there.
I'm so fucked up I don't know how I bare to fight this war that wages on the battles often fought, but never won.
Tremors in my head as I fight to stay alive while inside my demons die to make me cry.
You say I care for nothing and no one; but if you dig deeper you might just understand all I do is drift like sand.
I have so much love inside although it has died with a crash and roar as the ocean floor shook and conjured a growing storm casting me ashore with the flowing tide.
Yes my stomach was full but my head was raging like the river of the amazon to far gone as the stream took me away now I flow endlessly looking for the sea as I think I can escape.
There is nothing here I feel no more the air inside my lungs is just a bore, motions of my legs and toes carry me to and fro but really in this life where the fuck does anybody truly go?
I'm lost in the dread inside of my head hiding from the monsters under the bed.
I run and run and run and run and it's not fun when I see the end the darkness is my only friend I may be fucked up I may be cruel but one thing you never saw was the love I once knew and things of my past, only how heartless I grew.
My depression and anxiety rioting inside of me silently as i'm fighting to hide my insanity from the people around me to whome I cause calamity.