Carefully calculated idiocy

There are 8765.81277 hours in a year
640 hours of this i spent on transport.
Visiting him.
That nimble fingered, plaid shirted
Idiot.
That Geek, freak, nerd of a boy.
Not a boy- 18 years under his belt.
Clean shaven
Hazel eyed- idiot.
He didn't know I was visiting him
He didn't complain I was there either.
So I stayed - then I went
and so the vicious cycle began.
He took my heart out of my chest
Choked up words of such beauty
And stuck it back;
Like making a build-a-bear.
Hours upon hours I spent awake
Dreaming silly dreams
About him
About you.
You guitar playing lover.
You shadowed by your brother
Annoyed by your mother
Lover. Love her. Love me
Love me with such purity I forget how you disembowelled me
Love me with such certainty
I forget what I'm meant to be
Love me until I don't want to leave
I never want to leave- not really
Not ever, never.
Not if your there whispering my name through your braced teeth                                                                  I don't think you get just how much control,                 You have over me                                                      You could                                                                 Pull out my intestines and strum them                          to the tune of Hey Jude.                                            And I'd reply-                                                             As I bled out at your feet                                             "I love that song"