Mind wonders

As I lay in my bed before the night is through I stare up at walls and think what has my life come to. I can't understand the feelings that make my world so blue I stare at the walls and think if only I knew what do. The stare becomes so focus it turns the walls into a movie screen with my mind being a projector replaying and gathering events from my thoughts to figure out what I should do. as my thoughts turn into images that replay in my mind it brings me tears. tears that come from the pain of reliving the moments that causes my mind to wonder in the first place. While my mind wonders and my eye lids slowly lower as i slowly fall asleep. With dreams that begin to lift me back up from my defeat. Dreams so precious and encouraging my projector goes from replaying those moments in life that keep me up all night to ones that bring a sense of purpose with a feeling so warm it makes me kick off my socks and remove all my covers. i realize the moments replaying in my mind are the ones to live for. than out of a blink of an eye i realize that it's not just a dream it's my reality when im awoken by that smile filled with more love than i could ever imagine from my baby girl and that wondering mind turns into positivity