Remembering

I will never forget the day I seen you and met you, walking in from work and there you were on the couch just talking to the ones that I had lived with.

I will remember that day that my friend had introduced me to you.

I remember that day when I first heard your voice and that same day we had clicked.

I will always remember that day when I told you that I like to run so we went running.

It seemed like yesterday I got that phone call.

I can remember the tears roll down my face.

I can remember the day you said you loved me 

The days went on and on and time went by to fast.

I remember walking alone later in the weeks and listening to your favorite band

I sat on the sidewalk and just cried smoking a cig

I can remember screaming why and how could you leave

You were young and you had became a  dad

I lost bestfriends because we had argued over you but we eventually came to an understanding and we were still close like the day we met

I had asked myself that night why you had to leave why couldn't you hold on

I didn't receive an answer

You met so much to me and your sons

other than my kids and my husband you were my motivation

I remember trying to help you defeat your issues you were having 

I remember leaving you behind and that hurt you even more

When I sat and cried on that side walk by the park I wished I hadn't

I yelled and screamed why couldn't it be me because I had gotten the experience of being a parent where you were just beginning.

You had always talked about being a father and you were so excited just by even talking about it.

You held my daughter with care like she was your own.

For the short period of time that you were in her life I could see the joy come out in your eyes.

You told me that you were having your own son and that you were over excited.

Years went on and your son is now 1 and your other is just a few months old 

And all I can think if you were only here to see them

Even though you just passed in Feb. 6 of last year it feels like years since I heard your voice.

I now face on getting questions from a little girl that you had held since the day she was born.

You were like a father to her in those short few months you had named her and gave her your middle name.

You aren't the only I have to tell about.

She lost her biological father a year ago.

Now she has left is memories and pictures of you both.

I sometimes visit your page on facebook and think you would be proud of your sons and how much they have grown.

I get angry with you because you said you would never abandon your kids and to me you have

I can't believe you are gone to me its still a bad dream 

but when I wake you aren't there picking up your phone to call me 

When I wake I look at your father's page and he has these old photos of you

and I can't help but remember you aren't here anymore and thats when reality kicks in

Some days I cry because it hurts to much 

If you could only be here so people can hear your voice one last time.

The memories I will share will bring tears to my eyes

So I hope you fly high in the sky where the angels play

Where the sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it

where the stars lay at night and the moon shines so bright

where sometimes you can see a shooting star

where the sun rises and sets where it's so beautiful where its a must to take a picture

where I look for you always

where sometimes the clouds looks like funny shapes 

when the stars out line the big dipper or the lion

I will never forget you I will never forget the funny faces that you made when you were being so goofy

Love you always