Nathaniel

Shrouded by webs, those intricate threads of woe
That prey on a wounded mind, tighten around a heart that is broken
Yet unflinching; wrapping, squeezing around the person you were and
Sapping all strength, seeking to quash memories of a time when you felt
Warm, whole like each breath was more than a step closer to death, more than
Confirmation you existed
But proved you were alive.

How much can one stand, stand up for
The weight of pretence is heavy, though the body is not
The meaningless smiles and conversation, the mouthfuls of bullshit spat out and swallowed to keep up appearances.
Choruses of “you’ll find someone else” that stab like daggers, each one a twist in an open wound.
Can’t they see it? Make them stop! Staple their well-meaning mouths closed and lend their care to someone who can bear it.
They don’t see it, but you feel it: lost
You congratulate yourself: another day down, your acting skills are better than you thought
You should have been on stage.
But to yourself you can’t lie. The empty bed, the emptiness.

Yet between the suffocating thread there are cracks that offer more than obscurity
And still you hope, cling to the strength of mind and heart you’ve always trusted
Trust that with darkness, there comes light.
Fuck all else, trust they know they remain your world, unchanging
That time may pass, but your feelings do not
What matters to you is you two.
Not what you are to others, a joke perhaps.
People have been hung for less.