Cared left and forgotten

I don't understand why I love you so much
I get tingles and shocks with every single touch
you've never done anything worth loving
but all these feelings just keep flooding
you've never once held me up high above all
but here I am still here ready to fall
you never showed me you were capable of love
you hold are you feelings in tightly like a glove
sure you fed me a bunch of bullshit and lies
I thought you were a real fucking prize
no matter what you did to me I was still here
no matter how many bitches there were I still cared
I loved you unconditionally no matter what
even when everyone told me you were a nut
all you do is hurt girls and use them
I thought oh no not me I'm his perfect gem
yeah his perfect gem to use and abuse
to pick up and throw around whenever he choose
I thought this was it I'm finally done
but then we thought it would be a son
I thought you would straighten up and act right
but all you did was fucking fight
that's not mine it's his
as if it's a fucking pop quiz
I was going through all this alone
his death certificate reads unknown
unknown under father
because WE were such a bother
you couldn't even stand up and be a man
I know this shit wasn't a plan
but you could've been there for me
you could've been there for her or him or whatever it might be
you'd think I'd wake up and leave
I was alone to grieve
this is sign it's all for the best
just go lay down and get some rest
that's what everyone would say
as if this pain would just go away
I was almost a mother
all I could do now is sit and wonder
can you believe I'm still talking to this boy
I don't dare call him a man he's just a toy
that was my baby too you know
I wasn't lying to put on a show
his friends might feed him that shit
but I don't think he beilives it one bit
we almost went half and half on a baby
thinking back that shit was crazy
but now I'm left alone again to cry and be through pain
after all this what the fuck have I gained
I loved you I cared I was always here
I was mistreated abandoned and left in fear