I, The Unparalleled Arbitrary Paradigm Of Incongruous Singularness

This poem is a perfidiously mendacious acerbic panegyric to all those who condemned me to damnation...

Hey, I'd like to give a shout out to so many of those who underestimated my abilities to achieve the impossible, to those who thought lesser of me, to those who under minded me with great ferocity, for those who thought I was nothing more that is simpleton, for those who thought I would never prevail, to those who doubted my sheer willpower overcome any obstacle, for all those who broke my heart and abandoned me in my utmost darkest hours, to all those who took me for granted and cared none the less if he did so and to all those who disbelieved the life that I lived that was full of unrelenting, merciless, and unforgiving hardships, tragedies, misfortunes, sorrow and loneliness - I like to say thank you for showing me who not to be and who was the realest of friends and the truest of allies and what sort of character you were truly and how I should never try and emulate as such and revealing unto me the true nature of humanity and all of its ugly indecency. Little did you all know that you're all like my Northern Star, my drive and the fuel that drove me, as well as the forgery they had forged me into an independently driven, self-reliant, self-prevailer and an acceptor of the ugly truth can behind such a beautiful lie to which I detest but accept none the less. And after everything that has occurred in my life it is only now in these moments that I have finally figured out who I am; for I am the unparalleled arbitrary paradigm of incongruous singularness...

I especially want to commemorate my absentee father who is a stupendous evidence of my own humble beginnings. You know what? I wonder if he'd be even the least bit pleased that I came out from his beneath shadow and became much more than the lesser of the man he prophesized me to be or would he be resentfully enraged? And let me not forget all haters and doubter of my past who are a prime example of how humanity is devolving. I bet they don't have the fuckin' kahunas to admit that they were wrong about the fact that I'd never amount to anything and I wouldn't go anywhere in life! More than likely they wouldn't! I'd also venture far as to say they wouldn't have any inkling that none of their abhorred loathsome animosity for my existence stopped me from being a better human being than they ever were! It's seriously highly unlikely! I also would like to pay homage to all those gutless so called alleged friends who were a poor excuse for one. Who always thought I was overly clingy and needy and too intense and thought I was simply just an attention seeker desperately needing approval and companionship! How feebly narrow-minded you all were to have such a notion! I seriously do wonder what you would all say or speculate if you understood and became aware of the fact that I personally consider human interaction and companionship to be seriously overrated? I can almost guarantee they would be some sort of disagreement argument over that realization. Why do I say such distasteful things? Because I am the unparalleled arbitrary paradigm of incongruous singularness...

 Now that time has become such a precious fleeting commodity I have begun to reminisce about my life and realize that I regret nothing because I did not grow up according to the plan was set into motion by the hands of others. I defied the odds that are stacked against me because there were times that I'd often stop and think to myself; " hold up and wait a goddamn second, Why am I wasting my time doing things other want? And why am I becoming what others want me to become?" once I'd realize this I would Etch A Sketch all that was wrong and begin again. Sure it hurt like hell when I was told that I was the biggest disappointment to exist by those who I knew well. And their disapproval of me we're building blocks that built me up to who I am today. And here in the now of days, I try my hardest to make dude what I have even though it is so minuscule and desolate. I'll make myself prouder than yesterday and the day before that by accomplishing the most impossible and overwhelming formidable of obstacles and challenges that may arise at any given time. Even though sadly the back of my mind I know that I'll never be good enough for any one person because sadly they do not and will not ever see me the way I see myself in actuality. As each day and every hour passes by I constantly pretend that I'm okay but it won't be for much longer now that I can continue this facade of pretending that I'm alright and everything will be better someday soon. How can I say such aspirational absurdities? Because I am the unparalleled arbitrary paradigm of incongruous singularness...

 Yeah, I might be still alive but now isn't everyone? The truth is for real that I'm barely breathing and the news is getting tighter every day around my already lifeless body. Tired of praying to a God that I stop believing in cuz it seems like he doesn't favor the meek like you used to. Nd for the longest time now nobody knows that I've been fighting a losing battle against a unopposable formidable enemy from within. Nd at the end of each day it feels as though I've lost it all and gained nothing in return. Nd from each of the numerous battles I've fought, you only thing I have a show is so many scars that resemble pathways carved into a desolate battle-torn landscape and they run deeper than most canyons to boot. During a brief interlude of uneasy stillness, I realize that nothing in this life is what it appears to be or as it seems and that I shall never be moderately acceptable in the eyes of the beholder who is everyone and anyone. Why do I have such a mindset? Because I am the unparalleled arbitrary paradigm of incongruous singularness...

 As the days dwindle by I try not to think too heavily about the anguishing agony that I feel inside that feels like a burning inferno which strangely to admit is a reason why I'm still breathing. Admittedly some of my best days were actually some of my worst days. Nd I tried finding anything that was good that wasn't consumed by the bad of those days but never could I. What was I supposed to do when all was hopeless well tell you what I did I made the best of all the worst of bad situations. I found a way to always stoke the fiery embers usually with the shards of betrayal just so I could enjoy eating a morsel of hope while enjoying a cup of my crushed dreams and wasted tears then I would settle down into the grave I had dug earlier on and onto a bed of rusty razors and ashes covering myself up with my blanket of shame and regret. Then as a new day came to light with the rising sun I arose from the ashes to which I slept on ready to do battle once again with a tinge of reluctant hopefulness and aspiration. And as I take a deep breath and walk out into the battlefield of life I think to myself here I go again on my own down this lonely road that no one knows but I sat is it not but who gives a flying fuck!? How could it be that I live this way? Because I am the unparalleled arbitrary paradigm of incongruous singularness that is why...