Lost Free Verse

I wonder when I changed so much
I used to be the guy who could always smile
Came around with so much energy, everyone felt it
Suddenly I started getting cold, not sure how it started

I smile sometimes and wonder to myself
Was there really a reason to smile
Could I have smiled because everyone expects that from me
Or was it peer pressure or did I randomly put on a mask for no reason

I used to talk a lot and make everyone laugh but now they just feel cautious
Everyone around me acts like they are dodging broken lightbulbs
The funny thing is I prefer it, like that's the only way people can be sensible
I'm not violent or hot tempered, but sometimes I can be very cold

Sometimes I wonder what keeps me up at night
Or where I go, all those times I'm lost in deep thought
Sometimes its like something is missing, a small void
Then sometimes I love the peace of silence and been alone

The beautiful assurance of depending on no one and living for you
The pure loyalty and devotion of acting alone, thinking of yourself
Instead I'm surrounded by people devoted to an empty sky
Believing their issues are caused by an evil being locked underground

My happiness is, no matter a man's background his free to let his mind wonder
His head in the clouds, a space even a nobody can do great things
Are you falling or in dark times, just close your eyes and drift away
The pressures of the world are heavy, that's why you must never forget to dream