A Whimsical Informative Bon Mot Canonized Notorious July, 4th... 

So yep it's nearing the 4th of July once again. Nd just like each and every Fourth of July all Americans of this Nation tend to celebrate it in such a time-honored way -- ya know fireworks, parades, cookouts and, oh yes, let us not forget recommitment to the fine principles laid out in the Declaration of Independence: Those "Self-evident" truths and "Unalienable" rights...

However, it is so darn curious, that so much of the inherited lore around the Fourth of July is based upon a misapprehension of the actual truths regarding the birth of this Oh So "Glorious" Nation and/or the signing of the Declaration of Independence and a liberation from a kingship in order to begin a new form of a "Craftily implied Dictatorship Democratic Hierarchy" of sorts...

Mhm, I can practically hear someone muttering "You are rambling such irrational nonsense!"

Well, am I now? Hold up, just let me continue onward in the hopes that I can re-educate those who are so choosing to pay attention curiously interested to be informed about some very conspicuous hidden truthful realism about America's most patriotic holiday. In the hopes, that's some of you might actually relearn something that you probably didn't know or maybe this is old news because some of you already knew these things to be self-evidently true...

Okay, for starters or any of you actually aware that the day itself, July 4, isn't exactly America's Independence Day? Yes/No? Well if you weren't here's a bit of information you probably should know. You see America’s independence from Great Britain was actually declared by the Continental Congress on July 2, 1776. That’s why John Adams thought July 2 was going to be the day future Americans celebrated. So ergo that actually is the original date of the birth of a newly independent nation known as America...

So, I bet you a few of you are curiously wondering "Okay, so whatever happened on the Glorious Fourth? And why the heck are we celebrating America's Independence on the 4th rather than on the 2nd!?"

Well, the answer to that is that the document justifying the act of Congress — you know it as Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence — was adopted on the Fourth, as is indicated on the document itself, which is, one supposes, the cause for all the confusion. As one scholar has observed, what has happened is that the document announcing the event has overshadowed the event itself...

And in 1776, there was no public proclamation, no formal "declaration" read to the Colonists on either July 2 or July 4. And the news that resolutions against the king had been adopted could of course only travel at the speed of the fastest horse and rider. Therefore, the celebration of any selected day of the birth of the nation could only ever be a convenient fiction...

So are any of you actually curious as to know exactly when the Americans first really celebrate its independence? Well, truth be told, Congress waited until July 8, when Philadelphia threw a big party, including a parade and the firing of guns. The army under George Washington, then camped near New York City, heard the news July 9 and celebrated then. Georgia got the word Aug. 10. And when did the British in London finally get wind of the declaration? Aug. 30. So it's pretty obvious that its indecisive as to the precise day America's true day of Independence was actually celebrated...

Moreover, although there have been numerous generations of American schoolchildren as well as natural born citizens who were taught that the declaration's author was Thomas Jefferson, while I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this too is also a slightly inaccurate portrayal of the actual facts. Undoubtedly it was Jefferson who did indeed draft the text, but others in the Continental Congress had their own views about the best form of words to use. The last paragraph, for example, containing the words "That these united colonies are and of right ought to be free independent states," was in fact penned by another Virginian, Richard Henry Lee...

So each subsequent year, celebrations were held in towns and cities, and each began to develop traditions for observing the day. The text of the declaration was read aloud. Dinners were held, often in the open air, with elaborate toasts, commonly 13 in number representing the original Colonies. Fireworks were from early on a feature of the day. Parades of the local great and good took place in town squares. By the time of the 50th anniversary in 1826, the traditions of the public celebration were fully established...

Here are some other startling revelations about the 4th of July. The Liberty Bell did not ring in American Independence. Yep, that's absolutely true folks!

So how many have heard the story of the Liberty Bell? Well if you haven't it goes something like this: A boy with blond hair and blue eyes was posted next to Independence Hall to give a signal to an old man in the bell tower when independence was declared. When the signal was given, the Liberty Bell was rung....

Wait, hold up I need to pause this unfactual application it actually never happened...

Ya see that whole story was concocted in the middle of the 19th century by writer George Lippard in a book intended for children. The book was aptly titled, “Legends of the American Revolution.” There was no pretense that the story was even remotely genuine...

Heck, the bell was not even named in honor of American independence. It received the moniker in the early 19th century when abolitionists used it as a symbol of the antislavery movement. Holy shit say it isn't so!?

Oh, and the infamous crack? Well, it was cracked because of a design flaw in the Bell. Have I metaphorically rung your bell, yet? Well if I haven't you better brace for more of my hornswoggling...

So how many of you actually knew that Betsy Ross did not sew the first American flag? Emphasizing on the phrase "The First American Flag"...

Well as everybody knows the origin story of how Betty Ross sewed the first flag went as such: George Washington himself asked Betsy to stitch the first flag. He wanted six point stars; Betsy told him that five point stars were easier to cut and stitch. The general relented...

Again I mind all to refrain from such bogus inaccurate falsehoods...

Betsy Ross may have been an unheralded seamstress. But she wasn't the one who was to sew the first flag. But I'm guessing you're all a bit curious as to know who actually did sew the first flag? Well, be truth be known. no historian or one person really knows for sure who actually was a person who undertook sewing America's first flag. Although historians do know who designed it. It was Francis Hopkinson, who just so happened to also be the person who composed and sung our national anthem....

So in a long short of a nutshell today, most of you will take the 4th off, and take yourself or the family and either go to the lake or out camping or even just go out in your backyard and put some hot dogs on the grill and open a few cans of beer. Nd quite possibly some of you might even debate over about controversial issues like politics, the right to bear arms or argue over whether or not if it is a good idea to pass a medicinal marijuana law, or relationship issues or marital issues and so on and so forth. And as the night falls one might decide to ignite the numerous fireworks they have as others look onward at the sky to stares in awe at the sparkly brightly a lit twilight. And such a warm humbling patriotic feeling rolls over you. Well, however one chooses to celebrate the 4th of July, may it also be remembered as the day of the birthday of the nation, and the declaratory act that founded it, created and continues to create an architecture of belief. In 1776, it had the power to change the world. For good or ill, it still does...

Last, I like to just say that perhaps its best to see the Fourth of July as an edifying aspirational story that, admittingly strictly speaking isn't entirely authentic, nevertheless it does, however, it does portray a certain catch 22 morality clause which is: That this nation was founded on the principles of never wanting to be governed by the rule of any sort of strict monarchy or dictatorship. So since the masses of the colonies did not want us as they all decided to rally together in order to challenge such a greater opposing opposition and then take up arms in order to fight the freedom sounds in order to gain equalities for all and rampancies of one's own volition. And they were never undeterred by the unrelenting multitudinous of god-awful horrendous hardships and perils. Because they believe that they would ultimately prevail in liberating themselves from such oppression. And thusly they did! Just so they could form a newly established shady makeshift government that would be known as democracy. Metaphorically speaking, it was then that this new Nation climbed to the top of Lady Liberty and then proceeded to beat its chests declaring as one voice unto all "We are the single Greatest Nation in the world! This is the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. And a nation where all men shall be treated equally, fairly and justly. A land of opportunity new aspirations who aspire to become better than the predecessors of other nations..." *Cough-Cough* excuse me I declare that is some utter bullshit! Yeah, sure I won't deny the fact that at one point that was undoubtedly the case. However though somewhere along the way the governmental institution to which was appointed by us, the people became unreliable, dishonest, conniving going awry and began spiraling out of control from its original idealistic moralistic principles, good-hearted goals, and objectives. So much as to eventually redefining itself as something much more dastardly sinister, it had turned into a new definition of tyranny, which is characterized as a shameful easily corrupted questionable garrison state democracy. I am not objectifying this nation or the time on a tradition, rather instead I am simply speaking from a personal opinionated perspective about the governmental institution to which it is governed under and nothing more. And before anybody decides to look askance call regards to whether or not I am being unconstitutionally unpatriotic and that I'm uttering such nonsensical blasphemy. Need I remind you the First Amendment, that I everyone else in this nation has, which supposedly does give everyone the right to uninhibited, unbiased speech of their own opinions, thoughts and the publication of such... Anyfu, I hope everyone has a relatively safe and seemingly happy Fourth of July or as I like to call it The hell yeah Explosively Patriotic Christmas, for all Americans where we all enjoy the best ever F words ever known to exist, Friends Family, Food, and Fuckery!