The final breath sucked from her desperate lungs
Leaves her face as white as bone
As she lays alone her body shocked and stunned
Her pale lips once a crimson tone
Her murky eyes once alive
Now stare blank their surface showing no reflection of the vast lake inside
Though now it is but an empty pit
Washed away by her tears of sorrow
Dragging her deeper into a cave unlit
Leading her further and further away from the morrow.
Pale moonlight streams through the trees
But it seems cold and unforgiving
As if a sudden breeze
Has closed the blinds to a chance of ever living.
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Author:
seeker123 (
Offline) - Published: July 3rd, 2017 13:11
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 70
- Users favorite of this poem: lostgirl24
Offline)
Comments4
Delightfully sad and beautifuly written.
Thank you
My pleasure
Wow, you just put the first time I saw a family member passed way in a hospital bed in my head. Then straight after a friend that took her own life (live, learn and figure it out) was a recent one in memory of her.
I truly thank you, from a healed soul that not enough compassion and empathy lives in the world.
Thank you for your comment very inspiring!
I love this poem!
Thank you I love to here that! Tell me what worked in this poem so I can improve others that I am writing currently.
What an incredible first poem here. Thank you for sharing.
Please don't close these blinds yet, you have a lot more inside you that has to be written down and shared.
Thank You! I do have alot of poems to share actually. I'v been saving them up I suppose, not sure if the're good enough yet. I really do love feedback so tell me what worked and what didn't in this poem, your criticism (if you have any) is what helps me improve:)
I promise to do so if you promise to do the same thing with mine 🙂
Yes of course
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