Oh Why, Oh Why Can't I?

Comments3

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  Stephen.Sapaugh July 5th, 2017 09:36

  I'm glad that you are putting time and effort into writing poems dentmoses, however I would like to say that punctuation would help this poem a lot. And, wouldn't you better classify this more like a song? Also, I don't understand the repetition.

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    Dent MosesJuly 5th, 2017 09:48

    You also didn't understand the lack of punctuation

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    Stephen.SapaughJuly 5th, 2017 09:57

    I\'m not trying to be rude or mean. If you would like to comment on my poems you most certainly can. The problem I have with this one is that when you read it what happens is there is no stops to allow you to take a breath. It\'s like that last sentence I just wrote. Your brain wants you to stop somewhere, but because the sentence has no punctuation you just know something is amiss.
    
    I hope this helps. If I were to grade this poem I would give it a 2/10

3 more comments

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  Tony36 July 5th, 2017 10:23

  Wonderful write

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    Dent MosesJuly 5th, 2017 10:32

    Thanks tony, I'm glad you like it ☺️

  • 

    Tony36July 6th, 2017 10:13

    Welcome

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  orchidee July 5th, 2017 13:16

  Oh dear! It may not be wise to give ratings 'out of 10' to poems. I don't mind it on my poems though.
  I understand lack of punctuation. I don't tend to put much punctuation in my poems - maybe just speech marks, etc.
  I suppose we can 'draw breath' at the end of each line. It is one continuous poem, but set out as you have chosen.