Am I Alone?

I feel like I am lost and I can't find my way.
No matter what I do or how much I pray.
Is it the enemy, is it myself, or is it truth?

I don't know the answer I can't find proof.
I don't fully understand,
I don't fully know,
I feel too broken to stand,
I feel trapped below. There's too many voices inside screaming at me, which do I believe and trust?
which is to deceive and turn my soul to rust,
Less than dust.
I am alone, tired and broken
I am lost, I am confused
I am unworthy and dirty
I am scum of the earth
I've been cursed since birth
to never understand or believe my self worth
so I sit in my own agony and self-pity
hating myself and feeling shitty
do I deserve this? Maybe I do
maybe I am meant to never be more
then I am right now, a sinner with flesh so rotten and foul.
that even God says" wow, I created that? what was I thinking? I guess even I make mistakes."
and with that thought my heart breaks and I feel more alone then before, more unsure, more insecure, a little more dead inside.
a little bit deeper I run and hide deeper into my mind behind the wall, 100 feet tall, blocking all, and at the same time I fall from the top but I can't stop going behind and climbing up again, and again. there is no hope to win, losing losing lost.
I feel lost, broken, and alone.
I cannot find myself, it feels like all hope is gone
maybe it is all gone, maybe I am alone....
Am I alone?