Candlewitch

Cursed Or Blessed

Cursed or Blessed?
By: CM Mattison

 

Oh the pain and pleasure

of the living soul,

The agony or the ecstasy.
 
It’s our decision,

Individually alone to make.

So inconsequentially

Which road to take.

The living hell

Each breath does make.

Oh fool you, of the fleshy bondage

Are you not at all aware,

of the irony of your senseless groping.
 
The endless pain of love forsaken

Or the noncommittal chances taken,

On a grand scale of nothing ventured

Nothing gained,

From all loves pleasures

hence abstained.
 
And so you’ve been told

That you’ve been blessed,

By God’s sweet loving tenderness.

The human favorite granted choices,

The gifted one of hungry voices.

And still you have not guessed,

Instead of cursed you call it blessed!

 

*this is a very angry poem. I  wrote it when I was 16+ it wrote it right after I dealt with my problem of being sexually abused on a daily basis by my brother-in-law. after asking for help from my family and getting none...I became my own hero, and saved myself; at knife's point. only a little cut but it sure did bleed. along with that and my attitude, he became afraid of me!

Comments9

  • Fay Slimm.

    The right of anger after such cruel abuse comes through every line here Cat - - nothing more frightening could befall a child. A haunt of a read.

    • Candlewitch

      dear Fay,

      thanks for your understanding. it is greatly appreciated!

      *hugs, Cat

    • Candlewitch

      To: DS/KS,

      thank you for your kind words yo me. you've made me smile!

      *hugs, Cat

    • malubotelho

      Bravo. We really need to know how to defend ourselves in many situations. We have to show our strength that we have even at a younger age. Even though sad but you made a great poem of it. It is what I call transmuting the pain into beauty. Thanks for sharing.

      • Candlewitch

        dear malu,

        you are so right!we need to defend ourselves! thank you!!!

        *hugs, Cat

      • Michael Edwards

        I really feel for you - how can anyone abuse another in this way? Anyway I see its behind you and you have produced a super poem.

        • Candlewitch

          thank you Michael,

          he had been abused in childhood, by his father...but he had a choice that he made when he "passed it on".

          *hugs, Cat

        • FredPeyer

          Cat, you say you wrote this when you were 16? Shows that you were an accomplished poet at a very young age.
          Yes, it is angry, but rightly so. No matter how long ago it was, sexual abuse should NEVER happen to a child.

          • Candlewitch

            dear Fred,

            yes I did write it at 16. I started writing poetry at age 12. by age 14 I was an adult. in my family I had to either grow up fast or else lose my mind 🙁 I've always loved books and poetry...since I learned to read. at that time, E.A. Poe was my favorite poet. thank you for your understanding comment.

            *hugs, Cat

          • Louis Gibbs

            A powerful poem about a terrible, destructive crime against the soul, a crime that is rampant in our world. As you point out, it is usually passed on, and is a terribly difficult chain to break. Thanks for shining this light on the subject, Candlewitch.

            • Candlewitch

              dear Louis,
              I broke the chain of abuse. though my husband, Steve says that I abused myself by drug usage as a direct result. for a year I was a speed freak (age 19) but I quit on my own volition. thanks for your thoughtful comment!

              *hugs, Cat

              • Louis Gibbs

                Congratulations, Cat!

              • Augustus

                Beautifully done. Kudos.

                • Candlewitch

                  thank you!

                  *hugs, Cat

                • Adri

                  😶 speechless! That was amazing! Some can relate to that type of pain and being strong enough to pull out of it!

                  • Candlewitch

                    thank you Adri,

                    it is very nice to meet you. may you never know this kind of pain. (but there is a great sense of victory when you do pull out of it!)

                    *hugs, Cat

                    • Adri

                      Nice to meet you too! Yes I have known it but, that is in the past. Love your work! Thanks!

                    • 1 more comment

                    • Heather T

                      Oh Cat...righteous anger pouring down the page. You are my hero, brave one.

                      • Candlewitch

                        thank you, Heather,

                        that is very kind and generous of you to say 🙂 I appreciate it very much!

                        *hugs, Cat



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