I feel like I need to get away from myself
Who is this weirdo who keeps ruining everything?
She keeps ruining every aspect of my life, anything she can get her irrational mind around
By the horns like a bull in a china shop and smashes my hopes and dreams and relationships to a dust that I inhale and cough on, bringing me lower than I thought was possible
Every once and a while when I'm just down enough for the pain and the doubt to slip back home in the middle of the night always noticed by weary eyes
It vacations a lot but it always comes back to the place it was born among years of bullying and abuse, bad genes, and a gentle disposition
Turned guarded and suspicious
"she won't last a day here" they should have said the day I was brought into this world
A day in the wild that is society and she'll end up an outcast with ideals and opinions no one can fathom
Woven into her personality professionals deem as disordered
Broken, damaged, problematic
Can't hold a conversation, can't hold a job
Can hold it all inside long enough before it spills out like fireworks but hideous
Angry, full of rage and terror but they only see the rage
It's the only safe emotion here
So safe in a world where no one can reach me for long
It feels too safe and I crave some excitement
In a swing of mania danger pulls forward
It's enticing, it's addicting
Is it love? Is this what I've wanted? Is it all I need?
An escape
Because there's so many to choose from and none of them are good
But the people that don't know what it's like to need one shouldn't be lecturing me
They are the ones with clear minds, they can read mine, tell me what I've got and prescribe me a lot of pills and things that pile up and I'm crushed
Reaching out from the rubble angry and afraid
Someone reaches for me but I don't reach back because they should leave me here
They don't care about me, they don't get what it's like, they don't know that they'll come to hate me
I'm alone again with the weight of my problems on my body, leaving marks
"I need an escape"
I think to myself
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Author:
bagel (
Offline) - Published: July 13th, 2017 00:13
- Category: Sad
- Views: 12
Offline)
Comments1
I feel your angst. I'm going to ask you to think about something, an old true phrase you probably heard before, that will improve your poetry. "Less is more". Take a look at some of the very short single verses published on here - they're so thought provoking and invite you the reader to paint your own picture. They use just enough carefully chosen words to get the job done. Constructive food for thought i hope.
That makes a lot of sense. I think the reason I use a lot of words is because of my fear of failure and miscommunication. This is really good feed back. Thank you.
It's very frustrating when you have a lot to say about something which affects you deeply. If you state everything, even both sides of an argument for example, it can become confusing for the reader and - worst of all - your reader could lose interest and move on. Keep it punchy my friend.
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