Pennies drowning in rattled fountain water
Eyes chasing dandelion seeds dragged by the wind
Bundled figures watching stars drop from the sky
And a girl who's learned that no amount of wishing
Makes dreams come true
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Author:
ElenaGrace (
Offline) - Published: July 14th, 2017 22:08
- Comment from author about the poem: Requesting any criticism you have
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 12
Offline)
Comments4
A nice short Elena. I like this much.
You've penned this sorrow beautifully.
Short but true. Wishes don't get acknowledged by anything other than one's own actions. Criticism? Hmm. Punctuation is a great way to add a punch in a line. Try working with it if you want, but if not that's perfectly fine! Leaving it a little bare adds plenty of room for us using our imagination, which is a very good thing. Happy writing!
Well said, you truly know how to help if you struggle with grammar like I do.
Cute! My grandmother used to say "if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride." Nice mental picture created.
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