I'm Sorry

Why is it that when people apologize,

we respond with, “It’s okay.”

That is not a sufficient answer.

Because then, you leave the door open wide 

for them to do it again.

People do deserve a second chance.

But never for the same mistake.

Me?

I am only fluent in apologies.

Never once did you apologize to me

for hurting me.

But I apologized to you twelve times

for being angry about it.

And when someone is going through a storm,

your silent presence is more powerful,

than a million, empty words.

Please remember that next time,

before you fill the bare space with your broken promises.

You wrecked me, and I apologized.

Never again.

Because I will not survive you a second time.

But, I am sorry that at times

I was both the umbrella and the rain.

And I am sorry for all the people I hurt

when I was hurting.

I’m sorry I fell apart so many times.

But what does that say about my character?

I have lived through many wars.

However, I will never apologize

for having too much soul.

Or being too emotional.

Or for telling you my heart ached.

When someone tells you,

that you have hurt them,

You do not get to decide,

that you didn’t.  

I am not sorry for loving myself.

I am not sorry for wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Or for the fire that inhabits in my soul.

I am not sorry for walking away.

I used your absence as a pillar

to stand on my own two feet.

In the end, I tried,

and I cared,

and that is enough.

I am not sorry for that either.

- the healing