the intelligent mind is the most fragile

the reason im sad
is not because i didnt get into college
or because my boyfriend broke up with me
its because the intelligent mind is by far the most fragile
and beyond any state of understanding
the pain you feel inside you feels 20 times worse inside of me
because with every tear that streams down your face
i feel endless waterfalls
and ive been looking for a while but i cant find an algebraic equation that could explain the look in your eyes when you walked away
i just wish you could tell the truth for long enough to untangle my brain
i dont know where all this started
but i know itll never end
because i understand every single detail
every neuron you destroy
every feeling you were supposed to give me.
i know you were there all along but something tells me that you wont comprehend it either
and maybe no one else ever even could.
but amongst all the damaged brain cells
you were there stitching me up
filling my brain with words i'd never heard before
and whether or not you want me i'm here
ill tell you all my stories
ive seen dirt cheap scum
and golden pearl necklace rich
but ive never seen einstein smile
and ive never felt more alone
knowing every day im thinking
thoughts that no one will ever understand
and all this pain inside me will burn forever unknown
but maybe its wasn't everyone else that i wanted to understand
maybe i just couldn't accept it wasn't you.
------------------------------------------
ive looked into your eyes a thousand times
and i still dont want you until i dont have you anymore.
i tried to let you go because if you loved me you'd come back
but you disappeared with the wind and the cigarette smoke
i just wish you took all the memories too.
it reminds me of how you know exactly what to say and exactly when to say it
and my brains always in the position where i can't even take a second to think about saying no
ive heard every word you've said
and i still dont want you until i'm 12 shots deep
maybe its the burning feeling in my throat or the way you make me feel
but somehow it numbs all the cuts that you've made
i didnt remember them even being there
and my mind just cant handle this
the drugs the stress the pain
because every time i end up here
and i never remember how
and it makes me hate that im so much better than this and you can get by thinking i'm here when you need me.
i've given you 100s of dollars in cigarettes
ans i still dont want you until you can recognize my worth
you didn't even think about thanking me
but ive been here all along
as you act like youre innocent while breaking all my fucking bones
and i forgot that you're the one who caused all the pain in the first place
i thought i was winning it all and then i realized it was just a game
i've tried everything
but i just can't want you again
i wont let myself take the fall
theres no reason why i have to feel like this.
i got high off your eyes
and even if you really did get high off mine im the only one who has the memories anymore.

And brilliant minds magnify the pain,
The brain that's trained to remember,
Can never forget,
The memories,
Though I don't regret,
The love we shared,
And I can't let,
All the memories and pain you made,
Slip away yet,