This is Goodbye

Do you remember the times we had when I was young?

When I was naive and trusting,

When I was foolish and optimistic.

Do you remember the time I ran away?

I packed a suitcase with my Xbox and one outfit,

I left a note.

Remember what it said?

It said “I'm sorry but I love you bye! :)”

In crayon and handwriting that could only be a toddler's

Do you remember all the good times we had?

The times we would stay up all night pillow fighting like kids,

How about the garden we started you, me, and my best friend?

Do you remember when I would sit outside your door for hours at a time

Waiting for you to come out and play, but when id ask every time the answer was 5 more minutes

Do you remember that?

I do.

Do you remember when I looked up to you and thought you were a superhero?

When I would call your name because something was too tall for me to reach

Or because I stubbed my toe and needed your medical magic.

……..

Do you remember when she came into our lives?

The woman that changed everything,

She changed you

She changed us

And it wasn’t all bad in fact for a few years things were better

We were closer and I finally knew what it was to have siblings that look up to me.

Do you remember when she left?

You were broken and I was confused

How were you supposed to heal you didn’t know and neither did I.

But you tried something, didn’t you?

It wasn’t new it was just more.

Do you remember what you asked me after we were alone in an empty house for five?

You said, “what do you want to do?”

I wanted to scream at you that all I want is you back,

There is nothing else I need.

Instead, I said what I thought you wanted to hear

I said “I want to stay here and for things to go back to normal”

Do you remember when you left?

Do you remember when I was all alone?

Do you remember where I went?

Do you know where I am now?

Do you know what that did to me?

I have no one now.

you’re back

But for how long?

You say always

But is that true?

I want you to know that I tried.

I want you to know that I don’t cry.

I want you to know why.

I want you to know that this is goodbye.