The Sun is shining,
The cloud is laughing.
The birds are twittering,
The flowers are waving.
The wind is whistling,
The wicker is dancing.
A day without blue,
Is just a blessing.
The heart is ease,
The mind is clear,
The footstep is light,
A day without blue,
Is simply bright.
Oh, a day without blue,
Feel so alive.
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Author:
myself and me (
Offline) - Published: July 21st, 2017 12:45
- Comment from author about the poem: It felt so great on the days when depression is gone.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 56
Offline)
Comments1
I think that you have written an upbeat poem, and done a lot of good in it. However, there might be too much good. Using imagery constantly without giving a break to the reader overwhelms us. But, I guess you need consider that when times are blue we might need something like that. This poem has brightened my Dark day, and the last six lines are done very well. I think if you wanted to write more poems with the first stanza you could get a lot of poems out of it. You use a lot of phrases in short order, and I would love to see six poems written from your first six lines. Maybe explain how each of these things make you feel better when you experience them, and contrast them with the blue feeling you have.
This was a trick of Robert Frost, and you are doing the same as him.
Keep writing, and keep lifting us out of the blue premordeal abyss.
Thanks, Stephen. If the piece light your day, then it is the best reward for my efforts.
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