False

The beatings that I tried to my hardest

To rise up from
To resist, protest, &' rebel against.
To prove myself to you that I am not weak.
That your beatings did harm to me but you can never control me.

You left bruises on me so deep.
That i promised myself that I could never peep.
Every night I counted sheep.
Just to fall asleep.
To escape the sorrow you brought down upon me.

I knew I fell deep.
My addiction for you grew.
You became my escape.
From all things that I hate.

You never let me love.
Only love shown was to you.
Your insecurity and controlling habits.
You always let it get the best of you.
You used my sorrow to empower you.

I tried everyday to hide the sorrow.
To hide my addiction.
To hide that I was stuck.
Stuck to you.

You poisoned me.
False love.
False promises.
False feelings.
False views of what love actually is.
You fed it to me like I was a baby learning how to just eat on it's own.

You poisoned me.
Now I couldn't break free.

You made the "love" potion out of insecurity, fear, and manipulation.
You had he under your spell for 2 years.
From the beginning you added a pinch of my love.

After you broke my heart you began to add in my fear.
My fear of losing you.

Once you got it just right.
The consistency.
The flavor.
Thats when you slipped it to me.

You slipped it to me with your false love.
False hope.
False dreams.
False realities that will never amount to anything.

Other than simply just words behind a iPhone screen.
Thats where they stayed.
In our messages you sent me.
Never did it become a reality.

We fed off of the addiction of the false promises.
False hopes.
False dreams.
False you.
&'
False me.

It was a much easier that way.
Then to break free.
You brought pity upon me.
You told me I would go insane without you.
You told me that I cannot live without you.
That if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be alive.
That i owed you my life.
That you saved me.

You owe me back my time.
You owe me back my love.
You owe me my life back.

Just from "loving" you.
I had no clue how sane I would be.
How ok I am without you by my side.
Barking at me for everything I did wrong.
For making me look stupid.
Telling me that I would die if it wasnt for you.

Now the thought of being with you makes me want to die.
Now that I broke free.
I can finally be...
Young.
Loving.
Beautiful.
Powerful.
Me.

d.s.