Neuter

I'm back in this late night hell

Ecstasy that I've never felt, and the guilt of never having

Maybe the dread and gloom are the push

The smile and scream that I'm desperately grabbing

I wish I was like the T.V gospel

All those summer nights and wasted springs

Wasted fertility, what if the fruit dries away?

Rotting alone and never feeling precious things

Animal instinct is so far pushed away

Replaced by anxiety and an insecurity barrier

Never wanted one, but must bore one

Or lest I show another side of failure

In past paradise, I played the leach

I wanted you to fix my insecurity

But you turned ugly and all because of me

It's always going to be me

It has to be me

It can't be you

It's going to be me

...

It's not you

It's me

...