Dig

I dug a hole so deep.

So deep that the place I am supposed to feel most welcomed no longer greets with open arms.

It greets with pain.
Pain from my mistakes
Pain made by their past mistakes.

I dug a hole so deep.

That every time they see me they hand me the shovel
As a reminder of what I have done.

I dug a hole so deep.

I can no longer fix it.
No matter how hard I changed the method of my filling the hole no longer worked.
I patted it and patted it to smooth out the surface in hopes of a better reaction to my efforts.

Never was there a better reaction.
It was always the same.
I was constantly the one to blame.
No effort can make it the same