What Is My Motivation?

I could have think of hundred of ways to motivate me, 

And ways that could probably excite me, 

But none of them really pull me from this bed of despair,

Repair a broken heart or probably go on a retreat somewhere.

Why the fuck I am here?

I feel a waste of space in this rolling sphere.

Everyone told me that I will get better, 

I ask them, When and how? Because right now I am bitter

I hate knowing that everything right now is so gray

No colors or light, Fuck!! I am so disarray 

You all called this Love? What a shitty feeling!

I will never see love because I just stopped believing.