Her Fight

_You could never fall in love with a guy like me.  You may like me...but I will let you down.
I'm rough. Rugged. Unbalanced. I can be clueless about your sensitive wants and desires. I like you. But I can't love you just yet. It won't be easy because I'm a lone wolf. I hunt alone. I eat alone. I sleep alone. I have, not once, asked anyone to join me. For you, just walk beside me, analyze my behavior, for you could will learn who I am. With that, your decision to stay or become bored and leave is yours to make. I will not call you over. I will not chase you down. I will not force you to stay for I have not asked you to be by my side nor to leave. I've danced with emotions for over 10 years. I'm hurt. Yet, I'm still creating my masterpiece. It's a wall. I built it when I was young. Some got over it to get closer to me, only to realize, there's another wall. Yes there's more than one. Three in fact. One twice as high as the last. Twice as rough. Twice as thick. No one has ever made it passed the last few walls. Why? Because I am the gate keeper. The beast guarding the heart for which I now have lost. Behind these walls is my code: Don't ever bring out your sweet side, for she will sense weakness. Don't ever say those horrible three words "I Love You" for she will sense disaster. Don't ever touch her with words for she will hesitate to touch your heart. Be closer to yourself, therefore, no one will hurt you. Don't ever show signs of loneliness for she will try to comfort you in all the wrong reasons. Don't ever be a shoulder to cry on or you will eventually fade away. Be humble and kind only to a short point. Take care of your family and friends, as they know to take care of you. And please....Dont ever stop loving yourself.
This code, this mindset is what built these walls. You can try to fight back. Try to get closer. Yet achievement won't be easy. I won't be fighting you to get away. Yet I'll always keep an eye on you. I won't be hurt again. I won't let this game, these fake feelings tread on me for I've become aware of it. I see it. I want nothing to do with it. So if you're going to try and pry into my life. Understand this. I'm not a pair of shoes you just try on and decide to leave behind. I will catch your games, and continue to build my wall as defense. Unless you break these three walls and show me your beating heart, don't break in and demand I give my heart to you. For I will begin to fight back. You will regret the foolishness of your actions in trying to get close. I won't allow my heart to be in the hands of someone that I don't trust, love or protect. So I beg you. Please think before you clear that first wall: "Am I ready to show this man what a beating heart is like?" Because I'm still waiting for someone to save my heart before I fall into living like a lone wolf my whole life. No, I don't want to...yet the walls are engraved with the words "Love hates to be a burden". To me it means love hates carrying it's strength on one arm. I'm no longer apart of my heart. I don't want it. It's hurt me a number of times and I'll be damned if I witness my heart take damage again. So decide. Turn away, stay out of this forest where my evil lurks, or take that step in with confidence and see a civil war first hand. One that I'm involved in everyday. Will you then interfere? Help me come back to life? Or will you run? Clearing from danger? You decide. I'll see you take either path and remember what impact you scared my walls with.