The Breaking

Loving you was a sacrifice.

I gave you the power to destroy me,

and that’s exactly what you did.

After you broke me,

I wanted to write down

exactly how I felt.

But the paper somehow

always stayed blank.

And I could not have described

it any better.

How do you get over a heartbreak?

 Start off by kissing as many

people as you deem necessary,

to get the stamp of his lips off your brain.

Go to museums and realize

that other things have history too.

Play hide and seek with your REM cycles,

because you don’t know which is worse to wake from,

the nightmare about your sides splitting open,

or the dreams about him holding your jaw

like it meant something to him.

Stay up until three, three-thirty or four am.

Brew tea with the bags under your eyes.

Write. Write until you’ve used

every metaphor in your library.

Use them until they start to repeat

over and over again.

Because there’s only so many ways to

describe being destroyed.

But once you get there, that’s just the foundation.

Next, take his name.

The one that still hurts to say,

and use it as a war cry.

Then, actually cry.

Because there is nothing shameful

about clearing your eyes.

Here’s a little tip.

Do not pick yourself up.

Do not be okay.

Heartbreak is not about being okay.

It's about remembering that you were okay before,

and you will be okay again. 

It’s taking all of your broken pieces

and building yourself a castle.

Because I don’t who you are,

you’re god damn queen.

Do not apologize for loving someone

until you burst.

Your capacity to feel needs no pardon.

Your heart needs no mending.

You’re not broken,

You’re just a little more,

explosive.