Candlewitch

In The Reeds (by: eddy styx)


In The Reeds

there!
among the tender reeds...
she hovers,
an inch beneath
the surface...
brackish water
covers her open eyes.
long hair
spread out like seaweed,
floating
in the brine.
dead eyes
unseeing,
appear to gaze
into mine.
I wonder
how she got here
did she take her own life?
or did someone
snuff out her fragile light?
was she some man's wife?
now youth eternal,
frozen
on her face.
perhaps someone's daughter
brought to the brink
not a clue
left behind.
in time,
to the bottom...
her body will sink
as the bloating gas

dissipates

and gravity
pulls her down...

 

*please see author's note at the top right hand side.

Comments7

  • WriteBeLight

    Pretty graphic Eddy! Good dark work. πŸ™‚

    • Candlewitch

      hello WBL!

      graphic is my middle name, lol! thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

      ever, eddy

    • orchidee

      I thought Eddy was going fishing, and spotted fish (female) just below the water! Oh, when will I ever get the 'dark' meaning, instead of laughing it off in vanity?! I dunno these things, I'm too naΓ―ve. heehee.

      • Candlewitch

        thanks for reading O.

        ever, eddy

      • Louis Gibbs

        Another brilliant poem, detracted from only slightly by my unrelentingly logical engineer's mind. Bloat always makes a body float rather than sink, Doesn't it? Sorry for the nit-pic, I really liked the poem, Eddy.

        • Candlewitch

          hmm, Louis, that is a good point. thanks for reading and commenting πŸ˜‰

          ever, eddy

          • Louis Gibbs

            Certainly hope I didn't offend. Mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Should have paid more attention.

          • 1 more comment

          • P.H.Rose

            I love this kind of poem
            Dark and thought provoking
            A story that can be told
            And have different endings

            • Candlewitch

              thank you P.H.,

              nice to meet you!

              ever, eddy

              • P.H.Rose

                And you....

              • FredPeyer

                Eddy,
                have to agree with Louis, but maybe it's a typo, should have been coat instead of bloat??? πŸ™‚
                Seriously, Eddy, this is not only a poem, it could be the beginning of a great short story or even novel. It would be the kind of opening that really, really, pulls readers into the story.
                Great work Eddy!

                • Candlewitch

                  LOL, Fred!

                  I have a bunch of great starts, but...then I run out of meat and potatoes for filler. maybe I should try writing a short story and see where it goes? thanks for your support πŸ™‚

                  ever, eddy

                • Michael Edwards

                  Paints a story - great one Cat

                  • Candlewitch

                    thanks, Michael!

                    ever, eddy styx

                  • Night Owl

                    Gorgeous words and visuals...like your beautiful silver hair, it's rich with texture and flow~ I'm loving the play of shadow and light...

                    • Candlewitch

                      thank you, Night Owl!!! nice to meet you!

                      ever, eddy
                      *hugs, Cat



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