Bartender Oh Bartender

Bartender Oh Bartender – Drinks Heron Me

(a stout rendition of Captain Oh Captain)

 

mine eyes espy the glory per the ending 

   of another work day beckon Baily's Irish Creme

with Absolut certainty that Fireball named Brandy 

   the Patron Crown Royal abets dream

quest proof positive to expunge stressful Boss 

   distilling this cooked Grey Goose a gleam

with nary a clue how my ceaseless toiling efforts 

   play within the lager corporation scheme

assigning exemplary skills and talents within 

what appears to be a trumped up losing team.  

 

No exit out this grueling twenty first century 

  rat trap where by Scotch chief en gin that air

except to drawn displeasure and wallow in sorrows 

   downing Booze or house brand beer

despite drunken state erodes axons and synapses 

   snap like chattering teeth of broken gear

quickly cause tenuous grasp on queasy reality, 

   sanity, and tenacity rent asunder and tear.

 

Now that work day done at long last, not a moment 

   to tally date with Jack Daniels to delay

this linkedin the conga line wants 

   to wash away sounds of barked orders Rum bling – may

king me insides writhing with anger 

as if type cast in diabolical formidable, horrible play

whereby each active scene increases assistance 

   for Johnny Walker to glide and sashay.

 

Argh, how those last remaining minutes to escape hubbub 

   ticks away at the pace of a snail

to these myopic eyes, which suspect manager 

   surreptitiously turns back clock hands male

lush hiss lee deliberately toys with sanity, 

   thus seek counsel from Jimmy Beam without fail

when super tramp ping head honcho 

will cease cheap trick renouncing cruel act with ale.

 

Without sh malt s, Hops, skips and jumps inebriation 

   welcomes me by rendering taps

receding thoughts of being bound, cramped, 

    and emulsified in dark cubicle Schnapps

as if invisible taut cord tears into virtual tatters 

   and this life of Wry lee loosed like flaps

from shredded material

   trailing a tail that rivals tales of Aesop's.

 

That ambler liquid of the gods soothes 

   palate and tongue helps a comfortably numb

feeling to settles within thine body electric 

   dulling the senses with heavy eye lids plum

met to close shut tight riding the wave of ecstasy, 

   reflecting about dad and late mum

though come the morrow, a hang over 

   with sensation akin to a loud internal tin drum.

 

Upon rising sober with total amnesia   

   sans pandering as a buffoon

realizing fallacious gimcrackery 

   while ensconced in fermented cocoon

an email fried off from the top dog 

   quickly reminded yours truly how I did goon

off the rails, perhaps cuz of living 

   within a trackless caboose sized wife named June.