Jay's Mind

Momma Im sorry

Momma im sorry!
I was your innocent baby boy
Wasnt outside in these streets
Momma im sorry
I was inflicted on my peers
To stupid to steer.. My self in the right direction. ? I was to busy tryna get an erection . when i think about it i just needed books no affection.
Momma im sorry
Freshmen year i had big plans . couldn't wait to make that stage ann. .. Get paid an.. Shit get laid..
Man That all changed ..
MAN IF I COULD JUST GO BACK TO THAT DAY I WOULD SLAP MYSELF IN FACE! BECAUSE I WASNT FOCUSED ON THAT STAGE AN GETTING PAID AN GETTING LAID.
MOMMA IM SORRY !
I regret it every day. Just 1 more year an that stage .. would have been mine. Goal never conquered. Now what i do.
Im just a statistic . aint never gone be shit ! Cant even do long division how the fuck ima get the attention of a multimillion dollar deal. Fuck it . ig ima live like a statistic an steal .
Momma im sorry
Im thinkin what ? What should i steal first. Then i thought more of what got taken. Then I realized i was born to fail . im a fucking black male . i was born wit the wrong fucking color !!!
MOMMA I'M SORRY!
I should have been white maybe then i wouldn't been called stupid bc i didnt understand long division. Or because im to afraid of my own self to get the worlds attention! I fucking hate it . i hate being black! or more of just the baggage that come with it?
Momma im sorry
Im sorry for failing you. I failed an bacame the statistic the government put me out to be. Ig the only thing im missing is becoming a deadbeat dad . leaving my son to fall in the same foot steps i did.
Momma im sorry.
Fuck it i think its bout that time to end my own life. Im only 17 years old im going insane sombody please stop the pain. No volunteers? Fuck it wheres the bullet. Idc im only a statistic whats there else for me. ? Ig ima pull this trigger n be wit the saint of my life. I got the gun loaded put it to my head an fire .. No bullet. No fucking bullet. Ig i officially failed at everything.
Momma im sorry
Im so selfish i cant take my own life. Now the only affectation i have left is depression. Ive been oppressed since i came out the womb an it all led to this . i have literally scratched off everything it took for me not to be shit. Except for believing that this it.
Momma Im sorry
Ima get saved . ima get me a relationship with GOD. Ima get a relationship with my dad. An get me a new goal an that is hearing Well done my faithful servant from the Most High.
Momma i thank you
Blessing stay an realize all i had to do was never give up . god is my key. An i just found my door. Out of this statistic life i go.. Out of this world i fly an i became the Angel i was born to be. With the beautiful black skin an new baggage accept. After all this i realized it was a test ... i guess i was born with the right skin color after all.. i was born poor im going to die an relive a prince in the kingdom of god .
Momma i love you.

Comments1

  • FredPeyer

    Good, true, and full of emotion. I like it.

    • Jay\'s Mind

      Thank you 💯🙌🏾



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