I Thought I Loved You

I loved you.

I thought your eyes were windows,

in a house that held you soul.

I wanted to desperately to be whole again

that I saw all of these glorious things behind them.

I started to throw pebbles

at your door, begging for entry.

But little did I know, that the signs

of your affection would appear

as bruises on my skin.

I failed to notice that your curtains

were drawn so tight.

And it was just the light simply

playing tricks on my eyes.

You became this reflection

of who I wished you would be.

With a perfect personality,

and a life that would make mine better.

But your window shattered.

And I finally got a glimpse into your room.

I found a completely different person,

nothing like the man I pretended you were.

I knew that I loved you,

when I started to make excuses

for the ways you hurt me.

I was so captivated by the

charming man I thought you were,

that I neglected to notice the locked doors.

But how can you love someone

who leaves behind bouquets of black eyes?

Was there a smile on your face

when I called you, begging you to stay.

Are you satisfied knowing that you broke

the unbreakable girl?

Did it stroke your ego to know

you had that much power over a person?

Or did it sicken you to the core?

I guess there’s no way of knowing.

Because as it turns out,

I never really knew you at all.

But I don’t love you anymore.

Not like I used to.

Time will heal me.

Maybe not completely,

but to the point where it only hurts

on the bad days.

And I’m going to try to only

have a few of those.

Maybe I am everything.

And he just isn't enough.

It’s not always my fault.