Lend it to borrow

It took time,

i smile uncomfortably,

listen and try not to hold eye contact,

anxious but fine,

thoughts are thoughts,

my thoughts are my own and not fact,

i get tired,

effort is required,

day after day,

my life lives on,

contact is effort,

I constantly Shepard my insecurities,

sometimes they spill out, 

i just fucking wanna scream and shout,

In that moment I talk about it,

i feel less shit,

use it for connection,

Deeper understanding between friends,

pits of frustration I want them to know,

if they new my sensations of dread,

Maybe I could take a step ahead of the curb,

draw solace that they still love,

me,

free for a night,

A problem shared is a problem on loan,

i drink more to keep up the mood and repress,

my anxious mind,

i will wake up tomorrow for a cup of more sorrow,

unless there's a friend I can lend it to borrow.