A message XX

Hate is easy, love is not
Thought I'd been through it so many times, thought I was a pro.
Just another break up.
When you hate it's easy to forget but you were good to me and I can't hate you for that.
You broke my heart but not like the others and maybe that's why it's not as easy as some hateful words and hair dye.

I convince myself that I am a powerful independent and beautiful woman
But if I really believed that why am I still afraid to kiss others. Afraid to lose the imprint of your lips on mine.

I still cry for your failures and your successes yet would you shed a tear for mine?
I wonder if you still think of me, whether your pillow still smells of my perfume.
Mine still smells of yours.

Although I must thank you for reminding me to get up everyday and put on my makeup, to wear those new shoes and feel good about myself. Remind myself that you're missing the best thing that has ever happened to you.

I gave you more love than I have ever gave myself but not anymore; I refuse to give away the love that I have deserved all my life instead I will invest in loving myself. Although. If you ever come back to me I will welcome you with open arms. I hope you know that. XX