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when you feel so much,
that something in you just snaps,
and it all just stops. at least for a moment there is nothing. nothing but the sound of your body,
existing.
existing.
existing for reasons you do not understand. and even worse do not understand why,
why you can't, don't, or won't.
feel the things you know you should.
And for perhaps slightly longer than the moment just passed, you wonder what it would be like to feel again. and then,
as if cued by traffic wardens at a broken stop.
it hits.
as if you sweved to miss the one that did not look.
and drunk on something with similar effect, but that definitely is not liqour.
You hit the tree that stops the car.
And breaks the dam.
and in that second, as the water runs, fueled by energy created by its entrapmentent.
emotions return.
and you find yourself longing for the moments when their existence seemed imaginary.