Deep Waters

I shrugged my shoulders carelessly when asked,

"how do you feel about him?"

“I don’t really care for him,”

and I swear I fucking meant it,

laughing at the thought of you holding my hand,

I had no appetite for your adoration,

no inclination to care for your wellbeing,

even in your arms I was oceans elsewhere,

A way to pass my time here,

I felt guilty for indulging your feelings,

it wasn't until the night before I left,

the thought of not being able to go see you

had brought upon shushed wails under the covers,

the word goodbye bitterly clinging to my tongue,

the feeling of your embrace fleeting from my mind,

and suddenly it was you swimming oceans away,

with me gasping and gurgling reaching out to you,

maybe I knew deep down that we wouldn’t last,

even if I did stay, here in this break from reality,

would you fit into my life, me into yours?

probably not because I am a different girl away from here,

but for a girl whose only dwelled on the ocean floors,

it was nice to get a glimpse of the shimmer of the surface,